Winning at Life and being a Galactic Badass

A Mother Runner’s Guide to Winning at Life and being a Galactic Badass

Aka

Sh*t I just came up with on the fly.

I was chatting with another working mom the other day and she asked my opinion on training for a fall marathon.  She has twin babies, a job, a husband, and all the responsibilities that go with the above.  Oh, and most importantly, before kids she was a badass mother runner of marathons.

So what did I tell her?

You grew a human being out of two cells; you can f*cking do anything you want in life. Including train for and run a marathon while being the proud owner of babies, a job, a husband, and all that rot. Avoid putting limits on what you can do. The example you will set for your children when you do this is extraordinary. I speak from experience. My kids are a trio of galactic badasses.

When you start drinking alone before the sun comes up, people worry; this will also apply to running. Get used to it. If you’re going to do a fall marathon and juggle life, it’s going to take some pre-dawn running.

Respect the distance. You didn't grow the baby in three weeks. Your fitness isn't going to return in three weeks. Savor the work you put in, and on the days that suck, on the days where if feels like you will never get there from here, look at that hard work and see how far you've come.

Your stroller is a rolling sag wagon. Use this fact to bribe or beg your friends to run with you. You can carry the water, gu, babies, snacks, TV, kitchen sink, and extra body glide. The best way to run with a BOB is to have buddies who have no strollers of their own who are wiling to share your load. Consider it a public service to your friends. Their training will be greatly improved by the resistance. It’s like running on hills... all the fecking time. Amiright?  With additional help pushing, the over all pace of the group will be faster, and everyone will be happier, including the babies.

Face it; you’re not the only one. Moms run. They train. There is a community of support out there.  Find your people. Maybe you need physical runners to join you – great – find a running club and join a group run. Perhaps you thrive in an online community of thousands of women who support each other. Perfect, find the Another Mother Runner Facebook group. Just whatever you do, find your people.

You will never be good enough. You will always work harder than you ever worked before babies, because you will always be striving for better and more. Maybe this is because you have these babies that you want to instill your values into, or maybe this is just because mothers are all pretty badass, but whatever it is, your standards for yourself will be different from now on. Goals that seemed impossible before will be broken, and rewritten to reflect new “unreachable” goals. You’ll realize that it never gets easier, you just get faster.  Or stronger. Or more.

~savor the run~

Peace and a 10K

Here is a 2015 Monument Ave 10K Race Recap... sort of.

For Richmonders there are few things more fantastic than running Richmond. We have a strong running community, well organized and friendly to both the veterans and the noobs. Every year we have a 10K that attracts 30K participants, both running and walking their way for 6.2 miles down the avenue of Civil War statues that slices through the west side of town.

Tree lined streets and a grassy park down the center of the road make this flat fast out and back pretty enough to enjoy without being distracting.

At the last minute I signed up to run it.  I know, it’s “The Year of The 5K”, but the 10K is like twice the Fun and if I’m anything it’s a sucker for Fun Things.

Thus – I’m not short – I’m FUN SIZED.

Saturday I ran with my 30K BRFs

I made a goal – run sub 8’s, listen to your body, be in the moment, run your own race, trust yourself, fight every step of the run for a PR because you’re almost fit enough to do that.... Oh, and above all - look like a sexy beast.

I’d like to say it was the #bestdayever.  I’d like to say I owned the course and that the masses parted and my lungs were clear and I ran sub 8’s and got a PR and my hamstring didn’t complain once and I looked like a sexy beast...

But wha’ hada happen’d wuz...

My hamstring was achy and tired feeling during the warm up, and my chest was tight while I was waiting for the race to start. I hit my inhaler, which makes my heart race. Once again I mildly underdressed, which was intentional, but I wished for more Throw Away clothes as I stood in my corral. I did not run sub 8’s for the whole way.

My name is a little ways down this list.
But for the record:
My name is a little ways down this list.

I ran a 7:56 on mile one, and even though it was a sub 8, I knew my shot at a PR was pretty much over.  Nothing should FEEL THAT HARD at mile 1 that’s what she said.

Mile one was brutal. I also knew, however, that I could still break 50 minutes if I worked hard.

At least I looked like a sexy beast...

I chased down another runner with a blond ponytail, pushed someone else, was pulled at the end, and ran a 49:46.  I crossed the finish line and collapsed into the arms of Coach Black for a deeply satisfying hug.

I knew that my finish time was probably not quite good enough for a place in the TOP 100 in my AG, but ultimately I accepted that it was a completely respectable time. There were 1871 women in my AG at this event. I would later learn I had placed 78^th.  I’ll take it.

As I made my way through the gates and corrals and water lines and photographer, I thought about my performance.  There was a point in my life when a sub 50 minute 10K would have been as unattainable as winning a race. I’ve done both those things twice now. What other “unattainables” are on my “list” that shouldn’t be there?

Plenty.

And they’re going to need to GO.

I didn’t linger at the finish. I was instantly cold. So I went back to around the mile 5 marker and found my friend Dimples. She lent me a jacket so we could spectate together before she sent me back to her house with a key so I could shower and warm up and beer.

Now, here’s the thing. I was a mile from her house... so I ran back through the city with my medal tucked in my bra and my phone in my hand. It felt good to run.

Isn't that silly? I had just finished a race...  

I was on the sidewalk parallel to the course, and there were thousands of runners making their way to the finish.

I was easily on my 8^th mile of the day when you combine the race and the warm up.  But I wasn’t really dead on my feet... I was just enjoying a chilly run through the city... It felt easy. I was completely relaxed and at peace.

The sun dappled through the tree branches, the sidewalk was chipped and crooked, the spectators were teasing me that I was running the wrong way...  my stride was light, and I felt like a beast.

A beast who could fucking run.

Saturday, in that moment, is when I realized how ready I am to run again. I mean, really run again, for me. I want to Run Richmond. I want to be in the city, winding my way down cobblestones to the river, cutting through the museum district, crossing flood walls and embracing this place I love so much. 

I want to run again. Not because I have to, or because someone else tells me to, but because I MUST run in order to be true to ME. 

And in that truth, I will find peace.

~savor the run~

BRAGGING WRITES

The text read:

"He can't graph the systems of equations when one of the equations is in standard form instead of slope intercept form"

There was a time in my life that those words would have made me panic.  Or, probably write back, "This is GBA_GF... I think this text is for someone else."

Instead I wrote, "first have him isolate the y term.  then he can solve for y."

I suddenly pictured me calling my spanish speaking friend for help, and having her write something back in spanish...
so... I called the texter and we math'd it out.

And life was good, and as far as I know she didn't sell her son on ebay, and he didn't call her any names.

Why am I sharing this?

You know that moment when you help your friend's kid with Algebra, and you just want to call your Dad to brag that not only did someone think to call you for math help, you actually KNEW THE ANSWER?

THIS was that moment.

Now, if only I could convince my kids that I'm actually smart.

~savor the run~

An Open Letter to Mother Runners Who Are Better at This than Me

Dear Mother Runners who Work...

Dear Bad A** Mother Runners who work,

How do you do this and train?  Specifically, how do you get up, wrangle your posse, go to work, and train for a race?

I’m no novice here.  I’ve trained at crazy hours to get my running in while I’m in nursing school.  It’s just that now I’m working in the hospital in an immersion program and it’s completely flattening my mojo.

Motivation = 0

If it was 0.2 I could multiply it by SOMETHING and get motivated.

But it’s not.  It’s 0.

The issue is that I can’t run in the morning because it’s too early.  I mean, realistically I can’t get up at 345 a.m. every single day and run an hour, be done, get the kids lunches packed into their backpacks, get ready for work, greet the babysitter, commute to the hospital, work a (12 or 8) hour shift on my feet for (11.5 or 8) hours, and function...

it's the functioning part that has me crippled here. I mean, if that wasn't a requirement of my relationship with my kids, The Good Dr, professors, etc, then I could so totally do this...

And if you remove the run, have me sleep in till 5:15, so that I could work out in the evening.... well, I’m usually so freakishly tired at the end of the day that I’m barely functioning enough to collect my kids from the sitter, get them home, feed them, get their homework done, get my homework done, and get the (Laundry, Dishes, House picked Up) that training isn't on the menu by that point. 

Today I came home from a 10 hour on my feet work day and got on the trainer for exactly 20 minutes.  I told myself that 20 minutes was better than nothing, but I gotta be honest, not sure where that 20 minutes is going to get me when I'm on a 3 hour bike ride in June, or a 13.1 mile run in mid-March...

So, I need to know:

How do you do it?  

What is the trick that I’m missing?  What lie have I told myself about training that is preventing me from seeing the answer?  What do YOU know that I haven’t figured out yet?

I don’t want to be a slug.  I’m registered for two pretty solid races in 2014.  One in March and one in June.  Both are important to me, albeit, the June race is more important than the March race so if a sacrifice was going to happen it’s there... still... I don’t want to sacrifice, I just want a solution to get me moving in the right direction.

Anyone?

Bueller?

Regards,

GBA gf

Forgetfulness

Sometimes I forget what it is to be Galactically Bada**

These are the times when I’m racing and training hard, and for a short time I start valuing myself based on pace, time, speed and distance.

These are the variables I enjoy manipulating and adding to my Training Log. These are easily mistaken as the important variables when assessing health.

If I’m fit, I’m healthy – and the measure of that is how fast I can ride my bike for 37 miles... right?

Right.

SO if I can’t make my mark, achieve my goal, keep up with *this person or *that person, I must be *less of a person... Right?

No.

While it feels good to ride a working paceline with “The Big Boys” at 23 mph on a busy road, tricked out in our Bada** GOTR/LOTL jerseys, the PACE is not the reason I am galactic.

The times I am at my most galactic are when I work with another runner or cyclist to make a better experience for both of us.

Anyone can be faster.

Anyone can train.

Anyone...

Not anyone can cultivate a group of friends to ride and run with on any given weekend. Not anyone can understand that there are days when the splits are less important than the company.

The miles aren’t always about the miles per hour, and it’s when I lose that detail that I start to feel frustrated, unhappy or stressed by my training program.

Today I logged another beautiful morning ride with one of my dearest friends, a beautiful Ladies of the Lanes teammate. We savored the miles. We never once checked our Garmins for pace, because we were not out to race each other. We were not out there to race anyone.

We were out to enjoy our morning, working together, to improve our shared experience.

That’s what the foundation of GBA** is built upon.

A New Kind of Story

The End.

Most stories don't start with The End. Most of them start with, "Once Upon a Time" and conclude with "The End". But that's not what I have, now is it?

My story starts with, "The End".  From there it heads into "Once upon a Time....".

So here you go.

Once upon a time there was a beautiful princes who lived in a yacht on an island. The Yacht was actually an apartment, and the island was created by roads, but seriously, who wants to hear a story about an apartment dweller? Apartments aren't sexy, but by Yacht standards, this apartment SERIOUSLY ROCKS.

So, ONCE upon a Time there was a Beautiful YOUNG Princess who lived on a YACHT.

Also, about the age thing. I'm not actually young. But who wants to hear a story about a princess who is 37? People like to read about young, lush, sweet girls who don't suffer from allergies or hay fever.

Where was I again? Oh yeah...

SO, the Princess... Yacht... yada yada yada...

You know what? Forget this princess sh*t....

Once upon a time there was a (youngish)(yacht-dwelling) galactically badass mother (something) who woke up one morning (on her birthday) and realized "This is my life, and I only get ONE".

So there you go.

Another Year to look forward to... and I love my life. It's stressful and noisy, but I love it just the same. I love my yacht, my dog, my kids, my peeps & classmates and I even love my athletic endeavors, despite their various successes or failures by other people's standards. Other people's standards don't really matter that much in the big scheme of things, do they?

Happy 37th Birthday to Me.

Now enough nonsense... I need to go ride my bike.

~The Beginning~

Ground Force IT Power Sprint Tri 2013

"No worries, the first rule of Triathlon is to NOT DROWN. I've so got this."  ~ spoken with far more confidence than I felt about 8 minutes before I jumped into the Shady Grove YMCA pool.

me, IronBill, DeNiece

On a starless Sunday morning in May, I got up well before any sane person in the world, and went with varying levels of dread and excitement to meet my TriWife DeNiece so we could head to our first TRI of the season. Lot's of folks we know raced Ground Force IT Power Sprint, including Potter, King, and Catalyst J. Everyone had an amazing day in one way or another.

I'm the fool who seeded myself on my best 300m time of the season. I admit, a week before the race, I was pretty nervous about my swim seed position. I mean, if everything went PERFECTLY I would be fine and could make the 5:29 goal. <~ when does everything go perfectly on race day?
right.

Still, an hour after sunrise I found myself standing in gooey mud waiting to swim with only 86 people swimming ahead of me. I chatted with the guy behind me and wondered whether he would catch me. Always my fear in the pool. So my strategy on this length TRI swim is to go all out for the first 100M, settle in for the 2nd 100M, and don't drown in the 3rd 100M.

I lined up in the doorway with T-15 seconds till start and listened to the hollow sound of churning water. The volunteers rinsed the mud off my feet, and "GO". I jumped into the dark chop, pushed off, and went for it.

At about 200M I caught and passed the swimmer ahead of me.

By 250M I wondered if life wouldn't just be easier if I sucked in a lungful of water and died rather than maintain the brutal pace.

The swimmer behind me never caught me (or the guy I passed).

I flopped my nearly dead body onto the cement deck, gasping for oxygen and staggered to my feet... oh... freaking yea. I'm running to transition now. At that point I had NO clue how fast the swim was... you lose time when you catch the swimmer ahead of you, because you have to pass them at the wall and there's a loss in "fluidity". And I never timed myself jumping in and swimming and then climbing out of the pool with dead limbs. But still, it didn't feel like the swim of my life. bah. WTFC? I was glad it was over.

05:53 Swim Split very slow compared to every pre-race time trial.

Transition felt fast. Didn't look at my watch - that woulda taken time. Shoes, helmet, bike, go. I decided to take a lesson from my son & race without socks.

Swim to Bike 02:09

Also, I was still muddled when I went to mount, but I got on and got moving. The bike was great. I freaking love my new bike. Did I mention that? 

"Keep pedaling, Beautiful!" I heard as Catalyst J passed me going about 9087 mph on his yellow bike.

Catalyst J - 1st in A.G! So proud of you friend!

I passed a few people, got passed by a few people, passed a few more. It wasn't the sufferfest from my last TRI ride. It was great. Did I mention...? 

I paralleled the run course, and there was Catalyst J again! He looked strong and fast!
"GO Catalyst J!"
"GO Beautiful!"

38:11 Bike Split holy freaking bike ride batman! It's a 4 minute bike PR on this course! 19.2mph!!!

Before I knew it, I was back in transition pulling on my shoes, visor and race belt so I could go for a run.

Bike to Run 01:25

As I ran out, I heard my name, looked up, and there was The Good Dr taking my photo. Right in front of him were my 3 awesome cheerleader kids. It was sweet.

Remember when running was my favorite sport?

It's so not my favorite sport any more.
That was wicked hard. My achilles started to whine about 1 mile into the run. Every step felt in slow motion. I watched the time click away on my watch. I knew it would be like this, because I haven't been running in weeks... but still...

Thankfully it was a 5k, so despite my pace, the finish came quickly.

27:43 Run Split so incase you wondered, that was 1:43 slower than I'd hoped to pull off.

And the MC felt like interviewing me for some reason as I was having my chip removed. It went like this:

"VIRGINIA FLYNNnnnnnn, FROM HENRICOoooooooh, JUST FINISHED. VIRGINIAaaaaaa, HOW WAS THAT RACE FOR YOU TODAY?"
~gasp~ "it was" ~gasp~ "a great day" ~gasp~ "out there" ~gasp~ "today".

The Good Dr & T were at the finish to greet me. And I got a few sweaty hugs before covering my injured achilles with ice. I watched DeNiece finish and walked up to her to wipe black... mascara? off her face...?

And she laughed and showed me her hands. "I threw my chain. This is bike grease!"

Anyway, with Catalyst J's EPIC results (first place AG finish!!!), hot showers inside the Y, bike grease, Bouncy Houses, Potter (AG place as well), and all kinds of food stuff flying around, I never really even looked at my time or rank or anything.

I couldn't be bothered. For some reason, I wasn't pleased with my race. I think it was because I was shooting for an A, and I got a B.

And then I remembered something right as I fell into bed for a mid morning nap:  Oh yeah. On March 17 I was standing at a post race "party" coughing so hard I pulled a muscle. I couldn't take a full breath. I was using an inhaler 4X a day and sleeping 18 out of every 24 hours ... It's only May 19. I maybe need to cut my sorry self a little slack on this, and be happy with my race today.

So I realized that a lot of variables went into the race... but the ones that matter are that I have an amazing support crew. I am lucky. I am able to get off the couch and race.


I finished:

8 of 27 A.G.

35 of 143 Female

140 of 325 Overall

01:15:21

That happens to be a PR for me.

Also, as a side note, Richmond Multisports put on a great race this year. It was the smoothest I ever recall and the Rev3 timing was great. Thanks RMS.