Creature of habit

I have some strange habits.  I’m not complaining.  They help me get things done.

I credit my odd habits with my routine, and I credit my routine with keeping me 82% sane.  I’m, sadly, only 82% sane right now because I’m marathon training and anyone who claims “sanity & marathon training” go together like “peanut butter and jelly” is a liar.

The habit I enjoy the most is that I get up at 4something in the morning, stumble down stairs in fog, blinking heavily.  I eat a little piece of banana, drink some water, and hang out in my kitchen with my text books and e-mail for a bit while I wake up.  Then I go for a run.

~savor~

On rest days, I have a habit of getting up at 4something in the morning, eating a little, brewing some coffee and being in love with my biology or nursing or statistics text book until the kids get up.  Ok, love is a strong word here.

How about this one:  “Let me sit back and consider if I’m really hungry before I eat”.  Yes.  It’s a habit I worked hard to develop.  It’s taken a while to become second nature.  Today I found myself bored at one point (sitting at computer doing 45 statistics problems – you’d have been bored too) and contemplated grazing. 

Duh, WWBS?  *What would Brooke Say?  “Are you hungry?  No.  Then git your sorry southern a** out of the pantry”.  I love Brooke’s accent.  She’s Texan.  Pinch me.

Of course, despite the fact that I’m FREAKING AWESOME, I’m not perfect, and some of my habits are a fail. 

I often stop to log food into food journal, pop over to Facebook, take a look….  Or worse.  E-mail.  I get 30 e-mails a day from people I’d like to communicate with… (I have to clarify that because I probably get 843 e-mails a day from people requesting money be wire transferred, or suggesting that my (equipment) could stand to be larger, harder and better). 

I can lose an hour reading, and replying in support, encouragement, need, love, or conversation with the people I support, love, need and converse with on a daily basis.  I have dedicated time for e-mail.  The bad habit is allowing myself to get sucked in past that time.  Admittedly “certain people” have the addy that goes straight to the DROID… and thus, there are no hours of operation. 

I have the bad bad habit of checking that e-mail way too often.  if you have that addy you know this first hand.

Still, keeping a detailed food journal takes some time.  Keeping up with 3 kids takes a chunk of time.  Homework and class time takes about 40 hours a week at this point, that e-mail “habit” as bad as it is can kill hours in my day, and, then, you have what my husband considers my worst offender: my running habit.  

That one takes … well, as much time as it takes.

So, I guess it’s not surprising that I get the following question ALL the time:

“How do you FIT IT ALL IN???”

How do I … ?  What?  Please people. 

If it’s important to you, you’ll fit it in and make it part of your routine. 

If you love it (i.e. – Running, riding or “heroin use” in general), you’ll fit it in. 

If you hate it but it has to be done (i.e. – Planks, Statistics homework) you’ll STILL fit it in.

Even if that means you have to develop a habit that allows you to read e-mail, do planks, go running, and do homework at 4:29am, 7 days a week.

Of course, on the running days, it’s easier to break out of the fog by 4:45, but that’s just coz I love that ‘habit’ a bit more than homework.  And that habit this year has lead to a whopping 855 miles to date.  Considering I took a month off of running *fankle, that number seems pretty significant.

~savor the run~

Bone SCAN & the Art of Flirting

I'm shameless.

I'm sorry, and I humbly repent...

So, bone scan was Tuesday, as you all know.  Well it's a real process, you go, you get injected, you hang out and get some images... and then you go back a few hours later, get some more images.

Well, let me introduce you to my new BFF, Former Navy Guy Nuclear Medicine Tech "S".  45ish, average, nice guy.  I like nice guys.  Seriously, sometimes the guys who aren't THE BEST looking are far more interesting to talk with than the hotties because they've spent some time developing their personalities.  And I was right.  He was fun to hang out with for a few hours.

We met, filled out some forms, checked some boxes...

He mocked my running.

I mocked my own running.

This made him laugh.

After this, I TOTALLY had his 'number'.  I knew exactly what to say to get a smile, a chuckle, a laugh.  My Bro's in Iraq with the Navy.  Well, Tech Guy S was in the Navy.  So, we talked Navy.  Oh, they were both sub guys.. sweet!  We talked Subs.  Next thing we know we're talking Tidewater, Groton, PT, Swimming, and you know, I don't think I'm ALL that and a cup of tea in a plain black T-shirt and baggy Jeans, but by the end of our time together, S and I were pretty tight and...

I think it's fair to say he was eating out of my hand.


Maybe he just likes brunettes?

So after the 2nd set of images, which looked pretty good to my untrained eye, S says, "Hang on a sec... I'm going to run these back to the Radiologist and see if he'll look at them for you... got it?"

UH, yea, I hear you.

Five or so minutes later he comes back to me and says, "Hey, you're ALL set to go..." and then he whispers, "Radiologist says bone scans are clean!!!"

SaWEET!  (an actual quote, what can I say, I'm not that articulate in the the moment)

NO STRESS FRACTURE!  NO STRESS REACTION!


HA ~ I'm validated ~ this was NOT an overuse injury!!!  I just TOOK A BAD STEP!

What does this mean?

Nope, I have NO CLUE what it means.

Right now, until I get the word from The Hot Doc, it means, well, not much.  I am hopeful that the two weeks off of impact activities has healed anything that was going on in there and I can EASE back in to heroin use in general running.

Top 10 Reasons "Not Running" isn't a BFD

10 ~ Found the time, finally, to organize the music in my iTunes Library... you know how it gets... music flying all over the place, finger prints where they don't belong, the wrong disk in the wrong case... just a freakin'. mess.

 9 ~ I'm learning all kinds of new vocabulary from various sources, and practicing using it in my day to day conversations.  I'm not going to front though, it's hard to do sometimes with a straight face.

 8 ~ Getting caught up on all that pesky supplemental reading I've been meaning to get to... priceless.  My eye is twitching...

 7 ~ Ethics papers are much easier to write when your self discipline is being tested.

 6 ~ I've gotten in touch with my inner angry rapper ...  Eminem, "...it just means so much more to so much more when you're rappin' and you know what for ..."

 5 ~ You know that movie 28 Days, where Sandra Bullock goes to Rehab and has that really steamy kiss with Viggo on the couch?  Ah, yeah... I haven't watched in a while either...

 4 ~ Did I mention my really sweet RIDE?  Yea, well, it is freaking GALACTIC and I truly do love it.

 3 ~ Some of my favorite people aren't running right now, I'm thinking of forming a competitive shuffleboard team... the uniforms are going to be the best part.  Try outs are this week.

 2 ~ The BOOT is like, wicked hot.  No, I mean, hot hot, not HOTT, and I'm not having to keep the heat turned up as high.  Saving money for running shoes....

 1 ~ I'm experiencing NO negative side effects from the sudden drop in endorphins at all.  I'm really not sure why my husband moved to a hotel for the week, I think the IGOR like clomping from my boot was disturbing him or something....

Tired already.

first, a quick thanks for those who spoke up yesterday.  Not long after this went to press I was on hold with my Md's office where I left a message, requesting a script for that bone scan.  After all, Hot Doc and I had a deal.  Our deal was that I would call him if it got worse.  Well, just because neither of us expected that to happen doesn't mean we hadn't discussed it.  

I think this is going to have to be the last post on this topic for at least a few days.  It's too depressing...  and I'm sick of my own drama... you all must be sick of it too.  It seemed like everything was going to be FINE, and things were on the MEND, and I was practically celebrating the idea that I could add 1/2 mile to Saturday's run if... IF... WTF! happened here!

Hot Doc and I had discussed 3 things that "if this... then..." they were:

• "If the pain increases at an earlier point in the run".  In other words, two weeks ago I could run 10 miles pain free. That fell off to 6 miles, which is why I visited Hot Doc.  He suggested 4 miles, and that was all fine, but yesterday the pain came on pretty strong at mile 2...  So.... that progress is definitely notable.  Just, sadly, in the wrong direction.  Not that I didn't enjoy my run with DeNiece listening to a discussion about eating habits, safe pre-run foods, run groups, who's running what pace at 10K training team and she was nice an hung back with me...  ~yea~.  We had a nice chat.  Just, my "fankle" blew up, or did it Explode?  Melt Down?  Was it a twitter Bomb?  Hard to put words on the event really... on the one downhill of the route, so that took a little away from the, ah, joy.

• "If the pain interferes with your day to day activities" ...  yea, um.  I don't want to talk about the fact that I scooch'd down my stairs today before I was booted because I just couldn't face walking down them again.  Up?  No problem.  Down?  I don't need to come downstairs right now....  No really...  I'll stay up here... 

• "If the pain occurs during sleep".  We've discussed Sting, Neurotic 4 am wake-up for nothing, Screaming Tibia, and the Voice of the Hot Doc haunting my Insomnia.  I think we will not revisit this.

Because of all those things, I'm just going to be super cautious for a few days (I actually made a 3 week commitment to myself.  21 days.  It's not quite a detox, which is typically 28 days long).  One down... yesterday counts right?  I'm counting it, because I wore the boot.

I will say, I put the boot on and it immediately felt better.  I'm still going to hit the pool and bond with OC.  I mean, seriously, what is missing 8 miles of running this week really?  (did I just type that?  holy carp.  i just... blacked out for a minute there...)  In the grand scheme of things?  Nothing.  Nothing, right?  I mean, I can get that back in a week or two....

K.  I need to go freak out now.

Fankle, the Hot Doc, and my love life

I went to Q and Coach Kara's Ortho recommendation today ~ Hot Doc.

Hot Doc is nice looking, don't get me wrong, but I was either so distracted by everything going on around me, or his way of speaking to me that made me feel like a 9 year old, eliminated my urge to swoon or drool.  Again, don't get me wrong, definitely worthy of the name Hot Doc, just... yea, I'm not going to write a poem in honor of his hotness just yet.

After the usual junk of waiting 45 minutes past my appointment time, to go get Xrays (yes, more, because they're free right?  Oh, no?  yea...), and then more waiting to see him, the Hot Doc arrived.  We visited, got some history about my addiction running, asked how many kids I have, he had me jump on one foot, he gripped me firmly by the hips and squeezed (NO idea what for, but... hey, I can appreciate that the view was at least nice from where I was standing, and I'm glad I've lost those 5 pounds because my hip bones are at least FINDABLE these days)...  where was I?  Oh, yea, more hopping... and then sit here... so he's asking where is the pain?

Is it here?

No, not there.  It's here.

He nods, runs his hand up my ankle, and pressed on my Tibia about 2 inches NORTH of the point where I associated the ankle/foot pain... and I said, "Firetruck" on a gasp.

no, no I didn't.  almost though.  there are letters in there that line up with what I did utter aloud.

But that's ok, because Hot Doc wasn't fazed at all.  He rolled his chair back, still holding my foot, looks me in the eye, shakes his head and says, "Yea.... sh*t." ~sigh~ "So this isn't an ankle sprain my friend.  This is what I call a stress reaction.  I don't argue that you rolled your ankle, but you didn't tear the ligament, you've damaged the bone.  You're so close to a stress fracture... but it's OK, we've caught it.  I mean, I could to do a bone scan to be sure but why don't we just treat it as though that's what it is instead of doing a very expensive test."

OK.  Sounds great.... no, no it doesn't.

He carefully looked me in the eye, with all the patience of an adult speaking to a very slow child, and outlined my new fitness routine.  And how I could do what he said, or I could not heal.  So.

I'm still allowed to run, he "doesn't think it would be a good idea to take a Heroin addict off her Heroin cold turkey", but there are RULES, OK?  And "just because it doesn't hurt today, doesn't mean you get to jump from 4 to 6 to 16 miles in three weeks".  (both, actual quotes)

My new plan includes running a few days a week.  No more than 4 miles at a time.  If there's no pain I can add milage in 2 -3 weeks.  A half a mile at a time.

There is good news though...  I can ride OC (Orange Crush) to my hearts content and swim in the pool for 29 hours a week if I can stand it.  So there you go.  OH, but no "walking" right now.  So my dogs have just been put on a diet.

I've decided, in the 8 hours I've had to mull it over, that this is probably the best thing that could have come out of this, and I should be SO HAPPY it's not worse.  As I imagine my lean swimmer's body ~ all toned from my Ab Gauntlet challenge ~ out on a long board ~ surfing off the OBX ~ in a hot new swimsuit ~ I'm thinking this could be Oh-KAY.

It's ALL GOOD, right?

Cardio, here I come.  Non-Impact doubles allowed.  (Can I get a Hell Yea?).

Swimming is my new BFF
OC is my new LOVER
Running is my OLD FLAME
and Ab Ripper X Tony?  Well, hello!  Tony is my FRIEND with BENEFITS!

Wordless Wednesday

Had one of those "Aha" moments today... if an icebath got rid of that achilles pain last October...

then...

(I actually added a little water after I took this one so it came up a bit higher, but that picture didn't come out)

Volunteering, Weirdness & Fankle Update

To be clear, Volunteering & Weirdness are TOTALLY unrelated.

Want to have a good time, but are injured or untrained or recovering or not interested in running a hilly 8k?

1) Go to your local race website.
2) Click a race you do not have any interest in running.
3) Click the button that says, "Volunteer".
4) Show up and have fun.

It's just THAT EASY.

So obviously my morning was not a bust.  There is something great about runners, milling around in a room, picking up their packets & race numbers.  Smiles and cheerfulness, with some nerves, some dread, and some encouragement.  Yes, truly, it's good stuff.  It was like a family reunion in some regards, you see your pals long enough to say Hi, How's it Going? and then they move on, and you move on to your next Pal.  Pants Guy, Iron J, 3L, Coach El, Kara... and I made new friends with the really amazing runner seated to my Right (Mandy, can you say AWESOME?).  Yea, it was fun.  Go volunteer, and see what I'm talking about.

Then we had our weird 12+ miles.  We met at a weird time, because of my volunteering duties.  The Illusive Dave joined us, as did Lisa, T, and 3L drove over from the race as well.  We set out, looped the loop, and I made a wrong turn.  Weird for me. We corrected, but now my milage is off... and I was in charge of the route, only I didn't have one because I had adjusted at the last minute for 3L's joining.  I'm such a planner usually.  Thank goodness though, T wasn't feeling well, she's had a stomach bug thingy and we were able to drop her back at the cars w/ 3L.

As we were about to get back to drop T & 3L at their cars, some guy with a Bull Horn type intercom in his Red Neck SUV announces, "Your outfits are weird".

Your outfits are weird?  Really?  That's the best sentence your 8th grade education could produce?  Sure, why not.  Our outfits were hot.  Need proof?

After these photos Dave, Lisa and I took off again... and looped the loop.  And down another road, back up, drop Dave and then... Lisa and I looped the loop again.  Yea, by the end of it I never wanted to see THAT road again.

I had picked the start location based on running up to Twickory and Wyndham for a 10 mile route, but since we had to produce a 6, 4, 2 to get 12... well, a solid 10 mile loop was a bust.  Still it was a good run, we had a nice time, made nice time and the fankle only hurt for the last 3 miles.

Yea, it's like that.  SO, here's the New and Improved CFWP (Complete Fankle Wellness Plan).  I'm going to rest it a little more this week.  Yea.  Forget "Skippable runs, you can only run one".  This week I will run ZERO skippable runs.  I hate that, but it just needs to happen.  Be proud, I came to this on my own.

So T/Th/Su run, with 2 solid Swims and 2 solid Bike adventures, with the possibility if I use selective timing, I can pool some doubles... 7 days of cardio/week with several doubles for the last 17 days is actually starting to produce some results around my midsection, the muffin top breakup has been very successful.  Oh, but don't worry, the body fat % measurement on the scale still says I'm bordering on OBESE, so I still have plenty to be neurotic about over here.

Three Things Thursday: the Ad nauseum Edition

More correctly The + NAUSEOUS edition.

1)  If you ever sprain your ankle, and your friend sees it happen, don't let her tell you what she saw 3 weeks later.  'nuff said.

2) Speaking of things that make me nauseous.  I'm experiencing a full response of my autonomic/sympathetic nervous systems... aka, FIGHT OR FLIGHT.  Only... I can't flight, which is making the adrenaline hang out.  My fankle won't let me, and even if it did, the training plan is very specific.  Screaming cuss words doesn't seem to help, and I can only send so many pithy notes into cyberspace in the hopes that the adrenaline can actually be successfully e-mailed away.  actually, I don't really do pithy.  I do rambling and aimless.  The response trigger was Sunday, when I took C to the ER.  Not the ER, or C, but all the (*) that went with it.  (*insert lots of not blog friendly details here, drama drama, does anyone remember the pencil lead in the hand incident?  Yea, so, I'm a little over the H drama at this point and it's just keeps going and going and...)  Anyway, the short of it is that I ended up missing lunch completely, and then not eating much on Sunday at dinner.  Add not feeling hungry on Monday.  or Tuesday.  or Wednesday.  So, yesterday I went to the grocery store.  I figured a trip through the bakery... that would get me into food again.  No.  Fail.  And DOUBLE FAIL was that I actually dry heaved while waiting at the deli counter.  But the TRIFECTA of FAIL was when I bent over to pick up an item off a lower shelf, and stood up... only, my jeans didn't exactly come with me. 

Yea, speechless right?  S'OK, because so was the poor Kroger employee who works on the bread aisle. 

3)  Adding insult to fankle injury - it was freaking 70 Degrees here in RVA yesterday.  70, sunny, and beautiful = perfect running weather.  Well, on my gba-plan the box for 2/2 said "swim/bike". 
not 4 miles easy. 
not 5 miles MRP +15. 
no, it said "swim/bike". 
So forgive me if you live in RVA and I drove past you yesterday in my 'effing beige minivan...  yea, that was me, and I was glaring at you as I drove by.  Well, I wouldn't have been glaring if you all hadn't looked so smug.

Freaking the FREAK out

STRESS
-noun.  

• the physical pressure, pull, or other force exerted on onething by another; strain.
• physical, mental, or emotional strain or tension
• a situation, occurrence, or factor causing this

I should tell you all, I'm a fraud.  Yup.  Here I am pretending that I'm OK with the swimming instead of the running and all... but, I. am. so. not.  I'm a FREAK.

National Marathon has gotten in my head.

I'm all twisted up around it.

I was fine until I sprained/strained my fankle.  Chill, fine, whatever, I was cool....  But now, not so much.  The last time I felt this way was before my first Half.  I was shaking in my boots before that race.  Well, technically I was shaking in my boot.  Don't worry though, I was responsible and I cut the soft cast off a few days before the race, and then checked the boot at the start so it would be waiting at the finish... a'hem.

The thing is, I need to mentally recommit to the race, but I can't seem to do that until I resume training, and my goals, yea, they don't even look marginally realistic... yea, you know... I'm pretty much a head case.

Well, huh.  I was starting to worry I'd outgrown some of my neuroses... guess not.  

I think, and I'm not making excuses here, I'm trying to be "aware".... as I was saying, I think it's possible that one person can only handle so many things, and that the true test of their stress capacity is add "one more thing" and "one more thing" until they snap.  Well, who knew a sprained fankle would be my tipping point?  I sure didn't.

On Monday I was all "Oh, it's OK, no worries."

And today, yea, well, I think I owe some apologies for my behavior today...

Freakin' Kidding ME?

So today starts the litany of tests for my Klingon.  And then tomorrow we see another specialist.  Next week another.  My health insurance company loves me & my kid...

I really needed a good hard run.

Needed it.  Not wanted it.  Not craved it.  Needed.

Woke up this morning, couldn't fully bear weight on my ankle without pain.  It was a shock, I hopped out of bed as usual, and POW!  But, I'm stupid desperate dedicated so I went out to run anyway.

At mile .2 my ankle hurt.  But by mile 1 it was MUCH feeling better so I decided to go ahead and finish the run.

Fail.

I bailed after 4 miles, and would have bailed before then but there was no way to get back, and walking hurts just as much as running.

Freaking awesome.