Friday, March 26, 2010

Because, I'm a Friend, OK?

Don't say I "never did anything for you". I'm willing to take one for the team, and to prove that, I will share the most hellish experience I've ever, uh, experienced.

Because I'm just a good friend like that, OK?

Here are some words to live by... if you're at a ghetto race expo and the opportunity to step on an "accurate" body fat scale comes along, do not, under any circumstances, step on the scale.

I do not care HOW confident you are that it will read a number you're able to live with, it is not a good move. Because if the number does not reflect one that you can live with, if it instead says you are ONE body fat point away from OBESITY, you will now be living your worst nightmare:

Trapped, in a cavernous sports hall, at the back of a poorly lit race expo, surrounded by 2000 runners, who are, with your luck, probably thin and DO have a body fat percentage in the acceptable range, with no escape in sight.

I mean seriously, having lived this nightmare, I would NEVER wish this on anyone. If you're lucky, you can go your entire life without knowing your body fat percentage. I promise, living in denial will be ten thousand times better than the scenario I just described.

You're just going to have to take my word for it. OK?

And sadly, this is a 100% true story, ghetto and all, as I now have discovered that my slightly snug size 8 jeans are holding a woman who's body fat index is 1.4% away from an obese persons body fat percentage points. My size 8 jeans are on me right now, so that must mean that I'm the overweight almost obese person in question. Pardon me while I go step in front of a bus....

5 comments:

RunHapi13 said...

That is a load of $^#&! You are not fat and those things lie! LIARS! Be proud of that awesome body you work so hard to keep looking great! You rock!

Chele said...

Quick, call the news. We can have them cut a hole in my wall, hire a crain to lift me and haul me away on a flatbed truck. Because if you are 1.4% away from being obese, I should be in the Guinness Book.

Erica said...

ohhh I hate those things!!! Stay far away from them, you are the mom of three in a size 8 jeans!!! You rock

Heather said...

those machines are programmed for men, who do not have breasts. You are not fat. You have never looked better!

火吟 said...

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