Because, I'm a Friend, OK?

Don't say I "never did anything for you". I'm willing to take one for the team, and to prove that, I will share the most hellish experience I've ever, uh, experienced.

Because I'm just a good friend like that, OK?

Here are some words to live by... if you're at a ghetto race expo and the opportunity to step on an "accurate" body fat scale comes along, do not, under any circumstances, step on the scale.

I do not care HOW confident you are that it will read a number you're able to live with, it is not a good move. Because if the number does not reflect one that you can live with, if it instead says you are ONE body fat point away from OBESITY, you will now be living your worst nightmare:

Trapped, in a cavernous sports hall, at the back of a poorly lit race expo, surrounded by 2000 runners, who are, with your luck, probably thin and DO have a body fat percentage in the acceptable range, with no escape in sight.

I mean seriously, having lived this nightmare, I would NEVER wish this on anyone. If you're lucky, you can go your entire life without knowing your body fat percentage. I promise, living in denial will be ten thousand times better than the scenario I just described.

You're just going to have to take my word for it. OK?

And sadly, this is a 100% true story, ghetto and all, as I now have discovered that my slightly snug size 8 jeans are holding a woman who's body fat index is 1.4% away from an obese persons body fat percentage points. My size 8 jeans are on me right now, so that must mean that I'm the overweight almost obese person in question. Pardon me while I go step in front of a bus....