W.W.B.S. 2013

My Nutritionist, Brooke, was epic.

Gosh I miss her... I miss my hot body too.

Brooke was big on stressing that the key to weight loss was 80% diet. 20% fitness.

That's how you get a bada$$ figure.
You must eat like a bada$$ and run like a mother runner.

yes, this is a PEEP cupcake

...or is that eat like a mother runner and run like a bada$$?

Regardless, if you want to get slim, you have to eat well AND workout. Don't deny yourself anything, but keep track of everything and follow a few simple guidelines.

I'd gotten myself moving in the right direction this spring... and then what had happened wuz... prednisone. Lots of it.

So, I need to get back in my old habits again, and damn, it's hard to do that when you've been giving yourself permission to junk out all the time. It's not that I want to junk out, it's that I eat out of habit instead of for fuel. WWBS? she would tell me the pantry is not a safe zone.

And while we're talking about food habits, don't get fooled into thinking that meat free is healthy. Vegetables are meat free and healthy. Bread is meat free. See the difference?

hell, for that matter, Cake is meat free...
PEEPS are also meat free.
they aren't part of Brooke's nutrition plan for me though... I feel pretty sure I'm not making that up...

So, I am giving myself one more week to get back to daily food journaling. If I don't get that together, I'm calling in the big guns. Yep. Cos WWBS? She would say to call Brooke.

Tri-Wife & Tantrum

My TRI-wife, DeNiece and I started out running "together" a few years ago.  We couldn't really be running wives though.  She was *married* to Ocean, and I was *married* to TMB of Racing with Babes.

But now and again, when our wives were busy, or training for other things, DeNiece and I would run together.  

And now and again, on those runs, DeNiece would talk about the two of us one day doing a Half Iron Distance Triathlon together.

I scoffed.

I'm never going to do that with you... You have lost your fecking mind. 

Not sure what went down after that, but there is great debate as to HOW we went from scoffing and joking about it to planning our September '12 TRIAdventure.

And what was fun about this is, without a tremendous amount of formal training, we ventured out and taught ourselves to be TRIATHLETES. 

Or maybe we were TriLAUGHelites.

Because who needs an ab workout when you spend your summer laughing at yourselves?

And laughing at your wife. (said with love DeNiece, said with love)

So I didn't realize until recently that we were not the only ones laughing at us - er, with us. I was having a conversation the other day with The Good Dr and he joked about my predictable mid-ride temper tantrum.

What! You knew about that?
Um. Yeah. You know, I think everyone knew about that.

on any given ride, ever, I always had a TEMPER TANTRUM that went something like this...  

me  "How far have we ridden? I forgot to start my watch."

DeNeice:  "28" "36" "52"

"28??? (36!)(52!)  Seriously???  That's it???  Gah!  I fecking HATE this.  I HATE THIS SPORT.  WHY AM I DOING A SPORT THAT I FECKING HATE?!"

"Gba gf... Did you eat anything in the last hour?"

mumblessomethingaboutno

"Here, eat this."

(elevator muzak for 7-10 minutes)

"This is a really pretty ride. I think I could get used to cycling."

You know what I think is really extraordinary? It's not that we're considering another 70+ mile adventure. Or looking ahead at training over the hot summer months.

It's that even knowing that there are likely 20 weeks of Temper Tantrums between Now and Race Day... she still is willing to do this with me again.

Cross Training Plan

I'm looking ahead at my work out schedule.

I can not wait. I can almost taste the run. The excitement bubbles in me. Under the calm surface it pops and sizzles like the carbonation of tart citrus soda. Of course, I'm not completely naive. I know it's not going to be the same for a long time. For a few weeks at least it will be flat soda, with an unpleasant taste and a definite lack of excitement.

A coach I ran into at Shamrock Half Marathon After Party told me he guessed I'd probably only lost 10-15% of my fitness, and that I'd be better off coming back than a person starting from scratch. There's some disbelief on my part there, but he is kinda "the sh*t" so I suppose I should listen to him.

My plan for today went like this:

Vacuum Living room (pretty sure that counts as a cardio warm up after pneumonia)
Side lying leg lifts 3 sets X 20 each leg
Hip Bridge Thingy (it involves a yoga ball, and holding a position) 1 @ 20 sec, 1 @ 30 sec, 1 @ 1 min
Ball Lifts 1 set X 20 each leg
Superman's 1 @ 20 sec, 1 @ 30 sec, 1 @ 1 min
Flutter kicks 2 @ 1 min

and here's why I'm cross... Plank Maximum Rep....

30 seconds front.
30 seconds left.
30 seconds right.

1:30? Seriously? with all this fecking coughing I should be so fit!

But I'm not, because all the fecking coughing strained muscles left and right, and lying around in bed for a week or more (or 3) doesn't make people strong, no matter how much coughing they do.

So, it's Back to daily Planks for GBA GF.

I'm hopeful that in a few weeks I'll have a set of lungs that allow me to run, ride and swim. If I decide to do half of what's on my revised 2013 schedule, I'm going to have to have a solid core & strong hips to help me do those things in good form.

The Rules according to Velominati

There are rules to the bike written by The Velominati.

I like them. They're a little like my GBA Rules of Running.

GBA Running Rule #1 - If you're not sure you can run without a top, in just a sports bra, don't.
GBA Running Rule #2 - Don't.Die.Under.A.Car.

So, the rules of GBA go into Triathlon as well...
Tri Rule #1 - Don't.Drown.

Some Velominati High Points include

Rule #5: "Harden the F*ck up"

and

Rule #9:  "If you are out riding in bad weather it means you are a badass. Period."

but my favorite Velominati rule is the one that explains how many bikes one should own, and how to calculate that with advanced math. I love math. It's so pretty. I'm serious. Stop laughing.

Rule #12:  While the minimum number of bikes one should own is three, the correct number is n+1, where n is the number of bikes currently owned. This equation may also be re-written as s-1, where s is the number of bikes owned that would result in separation from your partner.

so, meet "n". I was going to give her some bada** street name that suits her bada** war colors, but to be honest, I finally decided "n" works best. She's a machine, not a flowery creature. She appreciates the simplicity of the letter. It's also the symbol for the element Nitrogen, which is an inert gas. You really need a catalyst to make N do anything exciting, and that's ~hopefully~ where I come into play.  So, I had great plans this week. I was going to go pick her up today, ride tomorrow. Except that I think it will take too much out of me to do that. So... ~sigh~ I'll have to wait. Not that I could have ridden her or anything anyway.... maybe it's better I didn't go pick her up...

so N. Nitrogen. n+1.

You know, on a poetic note, without N, there is no life.

also, as an aside, without N, I'm not sure there are explosives but that's neither here nor there...

14 days till tomorrow... yeah...

It's been 3 weeks since I last ran. It's been 2 weeks since I first got sick.

And I am going to run. again. one day.

Of course, right now, that day seems far far way.

It's spring break for nursing school, thank f*ck, because yesterday I was diagnosed with pneumonia. #epic. I'm going to need this week to get better. So it was good, albeit miserable, timing. I was looking forward to a fun week.

I'm now on antibiotics, stuck in bed a lot, & I'm going to get better.

Another good thing is I have some seriously amazing people in my life who steal my children, walk my dog and bring me food. and coffee. Oh, and clean my house and fold my laundry.

I was kinda lazy today.
And I have big plans for tomorrow. They include sleeping late, not caring about the time change, and taking a few naps.

Oh, and on the next bright side, I had plenty of free time to reflect on how my fankle feels (good) and to make a triathlon training plan for a June Olympic and Sept Half, oh, and accommodates a century bike ride in Aug. Cos nothing like being bed ridden and making a training plan that spans 16 weeks or so.

That either makes me a bada** or Cray Cray.
Let's not look too closely here.

8 Days Till Tomorrow

Tomorrow when I wake up, I will feel better.

Tomorrow when I wake up, I will feel better.

Tomorrow when I wake up, I will feel better.

Tomorrow if I wake up, I will feel better.

Tomorrow when I wake up, I will feel better.

Tomorrow when I wake up, I will feel better.

Tomorrow when I wake up, I will feel better.

Tomorrow when I wake up, I will feel better.

That’s probably true, by the way. Tomorrow I will feel better... but I probably won’t feel well.

Today I got out of my apartment of almost 4 hours. It took a 2 hour nap to recover from it, but that’s just a detail. It happened. I got dressed and everything.

I know that it’s going to be a long time before I’m where I was...

They don’t know what “got” me, by the way. Lots of badbadbad stuff got ruled out. I’d like to say it was the Bat/Pig Flu, right T?, but the truth is, it was probably just an opportunistic pathogen that was in the right place at the right time that led to a series of events that no one, not even The Good Dr, could have predicted.

In short, I owe my life to a Md at Patient First.  After I left her office, she said she was bothered by my condition and kept thinking about me. So she called to check on me right as everything in my life kinda took a badbadbad turn. 

I try not to think about that too much...gives me nightmares.

SO anyway, moving on to running stuff. In 8 days I went from being nearly marathon ready, to knowing that when I run again, I will be starting over from scratch.

In some regards, don’t we all wish we could do that? If you could go back to when you started running and start again with all your current knowledge, don’t you think it would be easier?

In others, I know it will be frustrating as all heckfireandshoot.

What do you mean I can only run XYZ pace for Y amount of time before I collapse into a pool of misery?

Also, let’s visit with the idea that I had finally gotten this whole bike plan down pat. I was cycling on my MTB so that when The Season started on the Road Bike I would feel fit and ready to roll.

Wheels f’in DOWN; I was going to be FIT.

Only, I’m so.no.fit.n.anything.

I’m weak. So weak that writing this has made me tired, and I think I’ll go get ready for bed. It’s 4something pm.

But that’s okay. It’s going to be fine, because tomorrow when I wake up, I will feel better.

I'm thinking a lot about life

I'm thinking a lot about life this week.

Also, that's probably because I almost died on Wednesday.

For once, I'm not even exaggerating.

Sadly this does not involved an epic mountain bike story.
Or even a running story.
There was a car in the story... it was going about 90mph toward the hospital at one point. My airway was almost 100% obstructed by the time we arrived. I couldn't actually talk because no air was moving across my vocal chords.

It changed my outlook on life this week.  A little. I mean, I'm not out all going crazy or anything, but any time a physician or two look at you and say, Medical Emergency and "Ms GBA what words do you need me to say to make you understand that you were approximately 5 minutes away from death at any given time in the last 24 hours?", it makes you think.

So.

Yeah.

The MD put me on strict bed rest for a few days, increase activity as I'm able...

She also put me on some strong medications that make me #craycray.

I'm thinking...

I'm thinking good news... I can't even feel GUILTY about not running for at least another week, maybe more. So my ankle should be completely healed by the time that happens.

I'm thinking prednisone is strong, but not as strong as whatever virus got me.

I'm thinking I'm looking forward to Spring Break, which is next week, and I'm having lunch with my Dad on Friday.

I'm thinking I have the very best and most amazing friends and family who have really come through for me this week. Even the schmoopy ones. Even the worried ones. Even the n+1s.

On, and I'm thinking that strong medication should come with "don't text while on this medication" warning. Texting is at least as dangerous as driving.