Monday, March 4, 2013

8 Days Till Tomorrow


Tomorrow when I wake up, I will feel better.
Tomorrow when I wake up, I will feel better.
Tomorrow when I wake up, I will feel better.
Tomorrow if I wake up, I will feel better.
Tomorrow when I wake up, I will feel better.
Tomorrow when I wake up, I will feel better.
Tomorrow when I wake up, I will feel better.
Tomorrow when I wake up, I will feel better.

That’s probably true, by the way. Tomorrow I will feel better... but I probably won’t feel well.

Today I got out of my apartment of almost 4 hours. It took a 2 hour nap to recover from it, but that’s just a detail. It happened. I got dressed and everything.

I know that it’s going to be a long time before I’m where I was...

They don’t know what “got” me, by the way. Lots of badbadbad stuff got ruled out. I’d like to say it was the Bat/Pig Flu, right T?, but the truth is, it was probably just an opportunistic pathogen that was in the right place at the right time that led to a series of events that no one, not even The Good Dr, could have predicted.

In short, I owe my life to a Md at Patient First.  After I left her office, she said she was bothered by my condition and kept thinking about me. So she called to check on me right as everything in my life kinda took a badbadbad turn. 
I try not to think about that too much...gives me nightmares.

SO anyway, moving on to running stuff. In 8 days I went from being nearly marathon ready, to knowing that when I run again, I will be starting over from scratch.

In some regards, don’t we all wish we could do that? If you could go back to when you started running and start again with all your current knowledge, don’t you think it would be easier?

In others, I know it will be frustrating as all heckfireandshoot.
What do you mean I can only run XYZ pace for Y amount of time before I collapse into a pool of misery?

Also, let’s visit with the idea that I had finally gotten this whole bike plan down pat. I was cycling on my MTB so that when The Season started on the Road Bike I would feel fit and ready to roll.

Wheels f’in DOWN; I was going to be FIT.

Only, I’m so.no.fit.n.anything.

I’m weak. So weak that writing this has made me tired, and I think I’ll go get ready for bed. It’s 4something pm.

But that’s okay. It’s going to be fine, because tomorrow when I wake up, I will feel better.

3 comments:

Michelle said...

I'm repeating it over and over. You WILL feel BETTER.
And you won't start from 0....you'll be surprised. Ok, it won't be fun. And you'll have lost some of it, but let's be honest....YOU'RE ALIVE....and that seems nothing short of a miracle right now!

bobbi said...

Bla bla bla starting over not fit bike not ready bla bla bla.

You didn't die = WINNING.

muah.

Marnee A said...

Girl, that is some scary stuff that happened to you. So glad you are healing. Will be praying for you