Fear Less

For every second of a mountain bike video where there is a cyclist perched on the edge of a cliff, there is a MTB chic like me.

A babe on a bike who’s scared and sweaty; gripping the handlebars with white knuckles under purple gloves even as she gears down so she can chase her badass Fear-less friend through the forest trails. 

That girl?  You know the one? 

That girl, who is so totally focused on not crashing that she sometimes she forgets she is having fun?  The one who is concentrating on every single root, bump, rock, dust mote and mole hole as she negotiates her way through the trails? 

That girl is me.

And you know what?

I don’t even mind being that girl.

I’m not particularly good at the sport, but every time I go out and do it, I love it.  I find it to be invigorating and so unlike anything I’ve ever done before in my life.  

Even though it’s just like riding a bike, and I used to race BMX as a kid, this is not like riding a bike.

It’s dangerous feeling, but it’s empowering too.  It’s dirty and sweaty and all the things that we are taught that girls shouldn’t be.  There are cuss words and giggles, at the same time.

My tires pop and crunch on the roots and rocks.  They slip on loose gravel when I don’t expect it, and when that happens on a hill, it feels like the back end of the bike is vanishing from under me.  At least two or three times today I caught a root and it caused my front wheel to turn in a direction I wasn’t expecting.  That was a little frightening.

I could hit a tree.

I could wreck.

I could trust myself.

I could fear less.

And that’s what I did today. 

I hate being scared as much as the next girl, but I must love it too because I had to try to do everything I came upon today.  Every obstacle vanished behind a giggle or a muttered curse word.  Even better, I successfully “didn’t die” while trying to put it together into something that looked and felt an awful lot like FUN.

I’m sure that there was a wrinkle in my brow for a lot of today’s ride.  I know I was so focused on what was in front of my tire that I likely missed much of the beauty of today’s adventure. 

I am just as certain that I was smiling throughout the ride, even when I had to put my foot down so I could just keep going.

~savor~

MTB OBX style

Yes, it's true.  Tall socks are
a MTB uniform requirement

Today was fab.

Remember that time my son rode his MTB down a flight of stairs?

uh huh. 

True Story.

No pictures though, because I was coaching, but Hellz to the YEAH!

I’m proud of this kid.

Then we hit the trails around Buxton, N.C. which have sand patches in them that will shut you down in a hot second. BOOM. 

We rocked them.

We crashed through homes, leaving a trail of destruction in our wake that could only be rivaled by a 1950's Godzilla movie. Or, at least, that's how the spiders tell it.

With our faces and helmets coated in sticky thread, we burst out of the woods in the shadow of a giant, and we dropped into the Cape Hatteras Light House Welcome Center for a water refill.

A whopping 8.35 miles on the Kona I got from Richmond Bicycle Studio. Love this bike. And love how it gives me such an opportunity to spend time with my klingon.

This ride was a great experience for him, and for me to see it through his eyes.

 

In a 57 minute MTB ride he became elated, discouraged, tired, frustrated, and ended with a smile high on his second wind.  He never quit though, even when his bike came to a hard stop in a pocket of sand on the trail. He kept it upright, but I could tell how much he hated starting from a dead stop on a climb.

It reminded me, when I feel discouraged as I rehab my Achilles, I need to remember that becoming frustrated is not a reason to quit the process. Like a bad patch in a race isn't a reason to quit the event, it's a reason to press forward in the hopes that there might just be a second wind in me yet. 

Moments of frustration are just part of the road of life.

Or trail.

I guess it depends on where you are at the time.

PlanZ with a Z

"So, what are your plans for 2013?"

Plans?

Oh, I had plans.

They were amazing.

Big plans. PlanZ with a Z. Cos a Z gives everything street cred...

Pretty sure the epic planz were the shiz... something about using my bada** mtb to make my legs uber strong so I could get out and destroy a Half Distance Triathlon... after I destroyed my Half Marathon PR in March and accomplished a solid sub 4 marathon in May... At least, I think that's what they were...

I'm not 100% sure I remember anymore, and even though I have them written down, I'm not going back to look at them.

I can tell you what my plans weren't.

I wasn't planning on missing the entire month of March because I had some kind of weird illness on the last Wednesday of February. And what's crazy is that even though I lost my fitness, there is no point in feeling badly about not working out. I don't have guilt. I was sick enough to be hospitalized and have nursing students move into my apartment to take care of me...

Part of viewing health from a holistic stand point is the idea that health encompasses physical, mental and social well being. So, health has to involve resilience.

In my case, part of being resilient is making a new plan that makes the "illness" & "injury" of the past year just another part of a learning experience.

And I did learn some things from being sick.. mostly I learned is that unexpected things happen and that I'm lucky... and I learned I need to work with what I have.

So, what are my plans for 2013?  "To accomplish personal success, as defined in the moment, by me".

My "List" of 2013 FUN includes a bunch of events throughout the year, including a 100 mile bike ride in August.

However, I should really point out that the priorities are more like..

Keep it all in perspective
ride my new bike
savor the run
be happy

because it sounded fun

I was talking about my weekend adventures and I got a good chuckle out of Hot Ironguy's response to my Sunday mileage:

"13 in the morning, and then another 31 in the afternoon?! WOW. What are you training for?"

It made me think...
What am I training for that required so much endurance this weekend...?
um, nothing.

I did it because it sounded like fun.

And it was fun. mostly.

To clarify:
The running was not fun. Yep, I said it. I am training for a (race) and the running was miserable. I felt sluggish and off pace. Oh wait, I was sluggish and off pace. 

The "other stuff" I did this weekend, i.e. the Kona adventures on Buttermilk & Belle Isle, and the Trek adventures on the roads that seemed to cover half of Virginia... well, they were fun.

When I was on the Kona, I felt free. I could do whatever I was capable of, and while that didn't exceed anyone's expectations, I knew there would be no self censure to come with the final results. Whatever speed I did would be enough, and besides, I expect to get dropped on the more technical aspects of the trail. After all, I've only ridden her a handful of times.

As for the Trek... well, that was the first time I've been on the road since Thanksgiving. I almost felt I could do no wrong. almost.

When I was on a bike, I was completely relaxed and enjoying the moment.
When I was on a run, I was not.
Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot.

I am a runner... right?

I think I need to figure out where my head is at right now so that I can be ready for my spring race.  As long as I do the miles, my body will be ready. But my head needs to be here, or the miles are going to suck. a freaking lot.

I never used to struggle to have fun. It used to just happen. Whether I was alone or in a posse, I could find a way to savor the miles of my training plan. That fun was how I knew my place in the world as a galactically bada** runner.

I need to get back to my roots. I need to remember how to relax and just be. Of course, the more I think about it, the less it will happen. By the way, I suspect that's true of a lot of things in life.

This week I'm going to get out with a buddy of mine who does the "fun" part of running better than anyone I know. It'll be like running therapy for my running mojo.

~savor the run~

secrets are destructive

when you are a blogger who writes about running, and you are keeping your running plans secret, it's hard to blog about running to a bunch of runners who read blogs about running....
runners are weird.

ya know? Cos, If I tell you what I did this weekend, you'll figure out what I'm trying to do this spring.

Of course, the title of the blog is NEUROSIS OF THE STAY AT HOME MARATHONER... which really should be STUDENT AND HALF-IRON(WO)MAN MARATHONER.... cos I don't stay at home much anymore, to the dismay of my sweet mutt.

Anyway, all y'all might have figured out my preferred distance without me telling you....

REGARDLESS, the result of my not telling all y'all means that this running blog is turning into a play by play of mountain bike shenanigans, a "how to get into mtb" 101 course, and an Ad for the Greater RVA trail systems.

I guess I need to figure out a happy medium.

So to fill you in on the running...

I'm running a solid number of pain free miles each week.

BUT the truth of it is... the "cross training" is really hard to resist, and the BOMB (Blogger On Mountain Bike) will likely continue.

Stare Climbing & Cross Training

I've lived in Richmond for 12 years.

Twelve.

And today was the first day that I really REALIZED that this James River Park System everyone is so excited about, is something to be excited about. Not sure if I should be embarrassed about this or not.

I'm going to stick with, "or not", cos embarrassment lends itself to awkwardness, and I'm too bada** today to be awkward.

Yep. It was like that.

not a terrible view...

I've always been an outdoor girl, but I'm not a hiker. I rode horses & ran road races, but neither of those things brought me to the JRPS. I ran past the park system parking lots. I ran near the parks themselves. I ran beside little strips of brown trails cut into the grass, without any knowledge or understanding that I was looking at single track.

So the thing is, if you get a mountain bike as sexy as my Kona AND are galactically badass AND ride it on trails in RVA with Gentlemen of the Roads Trails #GoTTrails, eventually you're going to have to go play in the JRPS.

PLAY is so seriously the RIGHT WORD.


That was a
FREAKING
AWESOME
way to spend almost 2 hours of my life.

I mean, it was a pleasant way to pass the morning, if you like riding a mountain bike over a fallen tree log/jump the size of a small pony!

ok ok... albeit a small sleeping pony... but why worry about semantics now? It was a pony sized jump. And it only took me 2 tries... the first one, yeah, well there may be a slight bruise... AND did I mention it ONLY took me TWO tries!

And after that, I tackled some rocks, a ditch, a few trips through the skills park, and some other silliness, and I wasn't too terribly timid. I did a lot of it. I 90% rode and 10% walked my bike through the sticky spots. Sticky spots are narrow and slick or too steep and I was in the wrong gear and couldn't get to the top... I mean, it could have happened that way.

TGL called back, "Just Keep Going and Don't Look Down!"

That's What She Said we echo'd from behind.

Considering I've been mtb on *this* bike for only a few rides, and only been mtb for a few weeks longer than that, I was pretty stoked about how I was doing.

I'm not sayin', I'm just sayin'

And then...

TGL had a brilliant plan to carry our bikes up a flight of stairs to get to the Buttermilk Trail. Kona isn't particularly heavy or anything, but the stairs never ended. -->

Our instructions for large portions of the Buttermilk Trail included TGL's wisdom:
"Shift your weight back, lean forward, and Don't Look Down".
That's what She Said we echo'd from the rear.

At one point though, I got stuck. I stood there on my bike, frozen in space, staring at a treacherous looking descent, and I couldn't move. Like a deer in headlights I watched as the others took the hill. TGL took on the role of the professor, but even then, I just couldn't do it. Maybe next time. I was having a cleat issue/clip issue, which dissolved my waning confidence in the moment, but I can't blame the equipment.

I blame the lack of experience. And the only way to get experience at this, is to do epic shit...

Well, seriously though, I think in order to really enjoy mtb I need to learn to let go and just be. There's a level of self trust that has to happen in tandem. I'm not very good at being in the moment, I'm an over thinker by nature, but sometimes mtb gets me as close to just being as... moving on.

The buttermilk trail was mad crazy FUN. Obviously someone with a LOT more technology than me made that video. 

This isn't me, but
this IS SO what I did today.

From there we rode elsewhere and it's very very possible that I RODE MY BIKE DOWN A FLIGHT OF STAIRS TODAY...
my new wise feme mtb hero, who's name is too cool for words aka Fear-dra, yelled out, "It's just a flight of stairs GBA GF, you can do it!"
as
TGL called, "Just go for it, keep your eye on the finish line and don't look down"
That's what She Said I echo'd as I rode my bike down a short flight of stairs....

and this too.

Our ride ended with a race against the clock, bolting at top MTB speed (so, not relatively fast, but loads more fun than road riding because there was mud flying EVERYWHERE) back via the Fire Roads to drop me at the sucktastic beige minivan so I could go to my 13 year old's birthday party on time...

BEST DAY EVER on a bike.

I like this Cross Training so much that it's starting to interfere with my running... er, and training... um.

~Savor the Ride~

There's Kissed, and then there's Kona Kissed

Kona

It sounds delicious doesn’t it?

Kona makes me think of something decadent.

Something I want to taste. Something I want to savor intimately for hours on end until salty sweat trails in rivulets down the contours of my lush body and breathless gasps of pleasure escape my parted lips.

Oh for sure, I’ll be out of breath in the company of Kona.

How we got from no action at all to something as truly sexy as Kona is a long story. I really can't tell you for fear of boring you all to tears... it's generally about deviant minivans, ridiculousness, clumsy sweaty afternoons at Poor Farm, “that’s what she said”, and one charming 21 year old.

“Hey, what do you think of this one?”

I borrowed this photo from KONAWORLD

“It’s a sexy bike, but...”

Just before the holidays I found myself standing in Richmond Bicycle Studio talking to the ridiculously charming lead mechanic about the merits of a women’s specific Kona versus the 29er I was trying out from a competitor’s shop.

SO...

I kept comparing it to driving a tank. I mean, seriously, I drive a fecking sucktastic beige minivan 99% of my time. For once I'd like to have something agile to tool around on...

After riding the 29er for a week, I concluded that it was too much to handle. Every time I rode it I nearly damaged the parts of my body I would seriously prefer NOT to damage. (there’s a TACO post out there on the internet somewhere that can clarify that, but I’m SO not going into details).

...and ultimately, the 29er was too big to enjoy.

That’s what she said.

Once I tried the Kona there was no going back. It was love.

seriously, this is the
end of the grip...
The 21YearOld says
it's called the
Kona Kiss

This isn’t going to turn into a Kona ad. I swear it’s not, but the attention to detail on the women's specific design warrants a closer look if you're looking at mountain bikes. The stock saddle is freakishly nice... I mean, if you're into Tacos & #junk. 

And I don’t mean to turn this into a RBS ad, except it could become one pretty fast. There are lots of nice places to buy a bike in RVA, but if you want to know WHY I ended up at RBS, go here, and click around for about 14 seconds until you get here.

Now, TRY to give me a good argument to buy anything cycling related at another shop? I’d be hard pressed to do so.

Also, even if you over look that they give 100% of the proceeds of their sales to a non-profit that actually does good, they tossed in a free sticker for my whip.

The sucktastic beige minivan never looked so sexy in her life. 
I think my street cred is up a solid 2%. 

Maybe... 3%.... 

~Savor the ride~