Sunday, July 8, 2012

aka. the one where I avoided prison, but only just barely

I love my Marathon Training Team.  All 1200 1199 people.  The Pink's, Those People, and my fellow Snotties, etc.  

No matter what sub-team, for the most part, it's about the unified TEAM experience.  

We train together on the same roads, support each other, banter with one another, and it's like a big happy family.  

There's the "dad-type" who tries really hard to make us behave.  The older sibling's who look out for the younger siblings.  The step siblings who seem a bit odd but we like them anyway.  And of course, like any family, there's sibling rivalry.

I like a little friendly competition.  It keeps things interesting.  Even when I have to concede a loss, I'm more than willing to do so as long as it's in good fun.

However lately I have met a runner who can’t stop talking about his epic running.  He goes on about how he’s so fast, and 'you're' so slow, and how it's rare to meet people as “fast” as him, etc.

Yo, I’m sure you’re ‘Great’ and all, but do you know how badly I just want to tell you to STFU?


I think I should tell you all that he almost died the other day.  Yes, it’s a 100% true story.  After our run, he said something that was so offensive to me that I had to physically stop myself from gunning him down in my sucktastic beige minivan.  My hand hovered over the gear shift as I struggled with life imprisonment or having to listen to this crap for 18 more weeks.

“I’m surprised you’re that tired, you only ran an XYZ pace...”

Really?  Are you fecking kidding?  Did you just go there?  


You did. 

Well STFU.  

Seriously, that has to be the dumbest thing I have ever heard anyone say in my entire running life.

It makes me wonder how anyone can be a runner and NOT understand how effort is measured at an individual level.  That one person’s hardest effort will result in a 6:00 mile, and another person’s hardest effort will result in a 9:47 mile, and another person’s hardest effort will result....  

Honestly, it’s as though he woke up one day as a self claimed fast runner, and completely forgot how he “got” to that level or where he started.  And it's true, he's fast.  He's a speedy guy.  He's stupid about how to talk about it, but he can run.

Which brings me to the next point.  Badass runners are not a**’s who brag about their epic-ness to slower runners all the time.  Being GBA**, Galactically Bada**, is NOT about being fast.  There is a bit of humility that has to come into play.  Or if not humility exactly, then, at least respect.

I’m not a sucky little runner.  I’m not.  Even in a slump I deserve more respect than this dude gives me.  And what annoys me is that he will never understand that, because the only reason he would respect another runner is if that runner beats him on a run.

 I keep praying that one of these weeks he’s going to get an invite to run with Coach Black and Those People so they can put him in his place a little and serve him up with a slice of humble pie.
~a little bit, yeah~

And then I think, oh hell no.  I wouldn't want them to have to spend that much time with his ego.  I like Those People way more than that.


(Just) Trying is for Little Girls said...

Speed + humility would be a deadly combination for this guy. Speedy, humble runners are my favorites.

Chris Schuessler said...

If this is the person that I think it is, he has an issue (seriously). Been running around him for two years, and has a great story, but has obsessive disorder and has no comprehension of what he does to other people.

Pam said...

Just so you know, I would have held a raffle on my blog to put toward your bail. This prick totally deserves a beige minivan tire track on his head.

I can't imagine the wrath that would have been unleashed on someone that said that to me after my !!!!11:29!!!! 8-mile run this morning. Yeah, I said it. 11:29. It was the worst run I've had in a looooooooong time, and I was more spent after that slow ass slog than I was after any race I've ever run. But you know what? I didn't f**king quit.

bobbi said...

To me, there's just no excuse for this. I have a lot of gracious humble speedy friends, who would NEVER talk down to me about pace. We all run. End of story.

Yo Momma Runs said...

Annoying to the extreme! I almost sliced someone's head off at the gym for calling some runners slow. Where the h do people get off? Unless you are in the Olympics, you have no excuse for being so completely out of touch with humanity. Even then, it is questionable. Anyone who is out running deserves respect for getting it done -- no matter what speed!

gba_gf @ Neurosis of the Stay at Home Marathoner said...

Ah ~ Chris, I'm not sure it's who you think it is... even if you ID'd him, I surely wouldn't admit it EVER.

Regardless, this was not meant to be an attack on a specific runner (well, after my car was safely in park) but more of an observation that lack of humility in a runner in general sucks all the badassness out of the runner, no matter how "epic" or fast they run....


Chris Schuessler said...

Was not asking to ID, or to condone the behavior. Just letting you know if it is the person that I've been running around (Yes, he is well known, and is fast), that this one person has issues, real issues.

Anonymous said...

lol... I feel I should have written this post. :)

I had a similar experience...thankfully only one, though. Waiting in a pharmacy of all places, a gentleman happened to notice a 10K race shirt I had on and asked if I had run any marathons. At the time, I had only run one (as compared to the two I have now run). So, he says "you know the one marathon you've GOT to run is Boston, that is the best race ever and if you haven't done that...blah, blah, blah ... so you have to run that one." There was just something about the way he went on and on about it like it was the local race, not some race you actually have to QUALIFY for. I wanted to look at him and say, gee, if I could actually qualify, I might give that a whirl sometime. :)

RunHapi13 said...

Point him out to ShyA, tell her he's a douche. She'll take care of it. Shhh, don't tell anyone.