Wizards First Rule

Every Runday my alarm goes off before the city is awake. I always lay in bed for about a minute and wonder if I should just sleep in. I can run later. I don't need to go get my ass kicked on a level 10 hill. I don't need to train this hard. I'm not really training for anything. Sleep is an important element of training.

And most Rundays, I tell the inner voice of sense and reason to STFU. I roll out of bed and go. I have run in sleet, rain, and bitterly cold conditions; I ran up hills that made me want to cry. 

But I ran.

On Rundays I run because I want to, no one is making me, except me.

I have nothing to prove, I'm not training for anything. I do this for fun, and because, even though they don't know me, I like running with Those People I Don't Know. 

Except there was a moment this week when I didn't like Those People. Recently, for the first time since joining Those People I Don't Know at Rogue, I had someone try to belittle my efforts.

Silly boy. Don't you know who I am? 
I'm charming...

The man in question reminded me of Draco Malfoy.  Essentially he represented everything that Harry Potter and Q and Coach Black are not. 

He was an arrogant snob. He acted though the fact I have not qualified for Boston made me less of a runner than him. Gosh, what would he have said if I'd admitted my marathon PR is a 4:09? He. might. have. died.

This attractive man sat beside me at a table with his back to me, talking pointedly to everyone except me. The deep frown etched into his face was only lifted when it was replaced by an unnatural smile for a camera. When he could not avoid speaking directly to me, he coated every word with disdain and thinly veiled sarcasm. At some point I realized he was judging me.  

Shortly after that I thought, "and he clearly thinks I'm not bright". How fascinating.

Additionally, he made it clear that as one of the "Dead Ass Last" crew, I was unworthy of his time and attention.

I confess:  There was a nanosecond where his low opinion of me hurt my feelings. I thought, If I was only (better, a BQ, skinnier, taller, nicer, prettier, more charming...) then he would (like me, respect me, acknowledge me, at least be civil to me).

And then I looked into his unhappy dead eyes and thought, I'm enough. His bad behavior shows far more about him and his lack of (grace, manners, happiness) than it does about me and my lack of (nothing). 

Isn't the first rule we teach our children in life is to treat others with respect? How did he miss that one growing up?

Because let's get real, if I was any smarter, better, nicer, or more charming, the world would not be able to handle it. As it is, I am intimidating as all hell.

Draco Malfoy may be an exceptionally gifted wizard who runs a blistering fast marathon and all that rot, but he's an unhappy small man who is missing out on the things life has to offer. My innate happiness must irritate the piss out of him. 

I laugh when I get high, and I get high when I run. I smile freely, and I am gracious to those in the Back to Last crew who come back for me when I am Dead Ass Last. I work hard to be better for my own personal satisfaction. I couldn't care less about Draco Malfoy's opinion of me.

I am enough.

~ Respect ~

A Marathon Takes Dedication

A marathon takes dedication, hardwork, and dedication.

I said dedication twice, because it takes twice as much dedication as hard work.  If you don’t stick to the plan there’s not a lot that hard work can do….

But as I’ve said before, and I’ll say again, this is not that kind of dedication.

I’m probably the luckiest runner in the world.  I have a support system that is enviable, and I would be a fool if I thought I could get to the start line without the help of the people in my life.

“And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”  ― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

Mile Marker 1 is dedicated to the man I love.

2 is for my parents.  I'm under the impression that they think I’m a little nuts.  But it would seem they still love me anyway, so that’s nice.

3 is for my 3 Klingons - B’nut, G & C…. My little nut keeps me on my toes, my son inspires me to be ~epic~, and my C is a reminder that fashion is above all other things… form follows function… function follows fashion.

4 is for 4 strong women.  Pink Brooke & her Pink Running Wife.  You two inspire me for reasons I cannot explain in 2 sentences.  and for Ellie - savor every mile.  and for Pam because she knows the meaning of being a good running friend.

Mile 5 is for the ones we lost this year.  I think it's summed up pretty well on this sticker.  ---->

Mile 6 is for, "And then what V?" 


“Life always waits for some crisis to occur before revealing itself at its most brilliant.” 
― Paulo Coelho, Eleven Minutes

"Lucky" #7 is for The Witch Dr's MAGIC THUMB.  

Mile 8 is for Birch.  Can I just say I'm so glad I was such a "jerk" that day you were working the SAG?  Thanks for reminding me that it's hot in Texas, to Try Not to Suck, and that I know how to Run like SNOT.

9... nine, feeling fine... and that's probably because I trained for this marathon with an AMAZING Posse.  This mile is dedicated to the YMCA Tuesday Morning Posse of Stephanies, Shannon, & so many others!  And I appreciate them all, even when they're having a tough time.  Miriam is one of my favorites & hot damn she is fast! believe in yourself, I do!  Stephanie, Stephanie & Mustang: embrace the moment and have fun.  Shannon, be a PR, be a PROUD RUNNER.  Kathryn & Kristi - Run Well!  Ga & Kathleen- you're only half crazy, but that's OK!  You've all worked so hard!  And NO ONE who consistently meets for a 5:15am run is any thing less than BADA**.  You ladies ROCK!

10 is for Lion.  It's just nice to know you're out there, quietly supporting and cheering.  And know that I'm doing the same.... all awkward and ~junk~.

me & Coach Black

11 is for Coach Black - because if he'd never invited me, I never would have run with Those People, and it turns out that some of Those People are kinda cool. You People, have a great race!


“What is a teacher? I'll tell you: it isn't someone who teaches something, but someone who inspires the student to give of her best in order to discover what she already knows.” ― Paulo Coelho

Mile 12 is for Professor S. (first decide if this is you, or not you, so if n=2, p=.5....).  On Saturday, "Try not to suck."

And Mile 13 is for Professor S.  On Saturday "Savor every moment."  

Mile 14 is for Rene' & Meredith.  One of these days we're going to get to the same state and run together.  It's just going to happen.  Thanks to both of you for being there for me even when you're not... and Mer don't ever doubt it, it stretches from one side of the country to the other....you know what I'm saying.

15 is dedicated to NOT TACKLING THE RED SHIRTS!  ...it's harder than it looks. 

16  is the Lee Bridge.... and it's for SHANZ who was recently quoted as saying, "Don't place a limit on yourself and dont make excuses". Coz that's just how we bada$$ mother runners roll, true?  (that post was more timely than you could possibly know, friend.  thanks.  And by the way my race plan includes making this bridge my b*tch.)

“When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not yet ready. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back. A week is more than enough time for us to decide whether or not to accept our destiny.” 
― Paulo Coelho


17 I can't see a VCU sign and not think of, Cozy KC.  This mile is for you.  I'm so glad we found each other.

Mile 18 is for The MAN and the coaches of MTT Pink, Purple, Teal, Red, Black, Yellow and Green....  you've inspired me with your wisdom, your wit, and your ability to discuss literature at 5:30am.  Thank you.  *And The MAN, the color is Sprint Mint, incase you need a bottle.......

Cozy, 3L, & GBA gf

19 is for 3L.  imagine a runner at the back of a room.... sweet 3L, you are the next level.  You inspire me to be great.  and Gracious.  And your wisdom stretches far beyond running.  And thanks for being the kind of friend I can call for a Woodbridge pickup.

20 is for DeNiece & Ocean - you two are great neighbor runners.  Run well today.

21 is for SpeeDee.  Because she knows why.  Today there is no such thing as the wall.  VH.

illusive he's not

Mile 22 is for Illusive Dave... who's working on eluding his illusiveness these days, and I'm glad for that.  Dave - BTW - is a freaking awesome wedding date, should you need one of those.

23 is for Karasmatic – because she gets Tequila inspired running, and because she has mad skillz on that road bike.  Thanks for being so unexpectedly wonderful.

24 is for Pixie Green... I can't even find the words...



“The secret of life, though, is to fall seven times and to get up eight times.” ― Paulo Coelho

Take up running, it's fun!(even the cranky hot coach thinks so)

25 is for Q... or is that I.Q.?  Or Vinnie? (~gag~).  It's hard to say everything I'd like to say here.  I think I will just go with "Thanks for not being the coach who pats me on the head and tells me what I want to hear... and at the same time, Thanks for being the coach who pushes me a little harder, a little farther, and a little smarter with every word you share with me.".  And was that an STFU?  Because it sure sounded like an STFU...  

Mile 26 is for my running wife, T.  "It's not Napping, it's Running".  It's supposed to be hard.  If it wasn't, it wouldn't be worth doing.  If I could sum it up in 12 words or less:  "I know a GREAT place for running" & "Are you awake?".  Because honestly there are either no words, or 1200.... but not a whole lot in between.

And the last .2 is for me, because once upon a time, I might have doubted I could run a mile.  


So google purple hair, and the first link says something about "Fun Hair".  And you all know how much I love fun.  So in honor of my sense of fun, and my Scooby Doo inspired race outfit, I had T "fix" my hair.  She's a genius.  It's Freaking amazing.  


My bib is #2297, my hair is purple, my outfit is epic... yes, I am ready.  It's time to run.

galactically bada** = Always epic.

I have a fever... and the only prescription is more cowbell.

“It's the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting.” 

― Paulo Coelho, 

~Savor the Run~

Taper Madness

Instructions for the Tapering Marathoner:  Print this letter, make a few copies of it and keep them with you at all times.  Hand one to your spouse, your partner, your neighbor, the other mom at the bus stop, the guy who sits next to you in Biology Class, the person who makes your coffee at Starbucks,... anyone, really, who is unfortunate enough to come into contact with you over the next few weeks.  

A letter to the support team

borrowed with permission from Q

As the support team for a Marathoner you are entering a very tricky period.  Your Marathoner has been training hard through the summer and into the fall in preparation for the big day.  The hard work is done and TAPER MADNESS is ahead.

Marathon training is a stair-step type process where muscles are broken down for several weeks and then an easier week is thrown in for recovery.  Finally three weeks before the Marathon, one last long run is completed and it’s time for recovery.  The last three weeks are a period of descending running mileage.  This period allows the body to fully recover from the training and rest in preparation for the Big Day, this period is called the Taper.

This all sounds well and good, however, the Taper is a period of great anxiety for many Marathoners (first-timers and veterans alike).  Over the course of training for a Marathon, an athlete becomes accustomed to running many miles each week and constantly feeling the rush of endorphin driven highs and the persistent fatigue and soreness of effort.  The athlete becomes addicted to these emotions and craves both the highs and lows.

The Tapering Marathoner will be irritable, anxious, nervous, overly emotional, short-tempered, restless, tired, cranky, and depressed (even more than normal).  Sounds like a great three weeks doesn’t it?  It is not unlike the heroin addict going cold turkey.  This is a span of time where most Marathoners go a bit crazy.  For most it passes after Marathon day.  Of course there are the post-marathon blues, but that’s the subject for another day.

The first week is not too bad.  It’s really like most “easy weeks” following a twenty mile run.  Recovery is critical and the mileage is not dropping by a large amount.  They are so tired from the 50 mile week that the rest and recovery is welcomed.  Do yourself a favor, block  HYPERLINK "http://www.weather.com" www.weather.com and  HYPERLINK "http://www.accuweather.com" www.accuweather.com from your internet service, unless you enjoy continuous updates of the weather forecast for 18 days in the future.  Nerves may begin to fray but the best is yet to come – trust me!

During the first part of Taper Madness you will hear about every small ache and pain and how it may be a broken leg or torn ligament or some other traumatic injury.  Every twinge becomes a reason to think about postponing the marathon effort.  Every sneeze, sniffle, cough or pimple becomes a life-threatening virus or infection.  Tight hammies, inflamed ITB, tweaked Achilles, plantar fascitis, black toenails, bloody nipples, chafing, and this is just during breakfast.  

The second week starts the deep depression.  The tapering Marathoner starts to really miss running.  There are no more double-digit runs before the marathon.  The longest run for the next two weeks will be 8 miles.  Just 8 miles, how many used “just” and “8 miles” in the same sentence prior to training for the marathon.    The body is really starting to recover and therefore has more energy than needed.  Therefore, the Marathoner becomes restless.  No “extra” running is allowed.  The tapering Marathoner can feel the fitness draining out of their body.  Ask them, they will tell you, they are getting slower every day!  This is not happening but the feelings are real.  Physiologically, there is nothing but positives from a 3 week taper prior to running a marathon, however, it feels quite the opposite.  This restlessness often becomes frustration and a very short-tempered athlete.  Understand that this frustration will be projected at anyone and everyone within reach.  It’s nothing personal; it’s the lack of mileage talking.

So it’s now six or seven days before the Marathon.  The last 8 mile run is done and all that’s left is 3 easy short runs and the BIG EVENT.  For the first time Marathoner and some experienced folk, this week is nothing but self-doubt and worry.  “I’ll never make it.  My foot hurts.  My nose is running.  I’m not ready.  My last 20 miler sucked, I’ll die out there.  I’m getting fat and slow.  My shoes are dead, my shoes are too small, my shoes are too big, My legs are different lengths, my head hurts, I have a splinter, I have a hang nail, I hate running.” These are some of the things going through the mind of a Marathoner in their last few days before the Marathon.  Not to mention the nervous energy that is overflowing.  Not to mention that there may be a couple of extra pounds after cutting back on the running for 3 weeks.  Not to mention that the trips to the bathroom are increasing geometrically as the hydration dance starts in earnest.  Many find concentrating on anything other than the upcoming race difficult.  By the way, Marathoners in the final days before a race often make poor babysitters.

Two nights before the marathon are critical to the marathoner.  This night is probably the last chance for a good nights sleep.  The night before is typically restless and worrisome (what if the alarm doesn’t go off).  A sleepless night preceding a marathon will not have a dramatic impact on chances for success.  Adrenaline will offset missing that night’s sleep and get the Marathoner through the race.  The morning of the marathon is all about getting some food, using the bathroom and getting to the race.  My suggestion, don’t get in the way.

I am sure your marathoner appreciates all the support they have received during the training program.  The last few weeks are critical to a successful marathon effort.  Please understand that the emotional wreck will disappear after the marathon.  The Taper can be especially difficult and frustrating for everyone.  The good news, it ends with the race.

I hope this sheds some light on TAPER MADNESS.  Sometimes insight makes things a bit easier to understand.  Of course, your experience may differ greatly but I’ll bet it doesn’t.

A Letter to Q

I.Q, sounds like an SOS!

Holy wack, un-lyrical, lyrics Andre!  You're f*ckin' right...

To the rapmobile, let's go...    .

{I.Q., I.Q.}, b*tches and gentlemen, it's showtime,

hurry hurry, step right up,

introducing the star of our show, his name is, {I.Q.},

you wouldn't want to be anywhere else in the world right now,

so without further ado,

I bring to you,

{I.Q. }

You 'bout to witness (running) in it's most

purest, more rawest form, flow almost flawless, most hardest,

most honest known artist,

chip off the old block, but ol' Q is, {back},

looks like Batman brought his own Robin,

oh G, Sadam's got his own Laden,

with his own private plane, his own pilot,

set to blow college dorm rooms doors off the hinges,

oranges, (blacks), (teals), plums,

syringes, {vnn vnn}, yeah here he comes,

he’s inches, away from you, dear fear none,

running is in a state of 911, so...

Let's get down to business,

I don't got no time to play around, what is this,

must be a circus in town, let's shut the sh*t down

on these clowns, can I get a witness?

{hell yeah}

Dear Q-sack,

I thought Detroit Marathon = Eminem.

I.Q. = Bada**

Bada** + Eminem = Angry Rap Lyrics

Hope I didn’t miss the mark, and if I did… WTFC? 

By Sunday afternoon this will all be over.

Now… on to business.

At every moment of our lives, we all have one foot in a fairy tale and the other in the abyss. --Paulo Coelho   (obviously there is only one thing you can get from this:  Paulo is a genius.)

Did I ever tell you about that time that my hot coach went to Detroit and destroyed the Free Press Marathon?  You know what makes the story more amazing?  He had surgery in February of that same year.  This guy can run… you should look him up….  He’s a freaktastic coach.  On the coaching scale, he's way better than me...

Seriously though, of all the athletes I have ever coached to Detroit, you’re my favorite, and in the year it’s been since I first considered giving you CPR, I’ve really enjoyed 'coaching' you.  

(~ah, well, huh~ that sounds a lot more interesting in print than it was in reality)

I know you have some sayings you give to your athletes before a marathon.  Well, I have some too.

The Hay is in the Barn… and that sh*t is rough on the skin and itches like a mo'fo, so don’t forget to glide.

Remember, it’s a marathon, not a sprint, let the race come to you, and remember it’s only ~like~ 42,000 meters.

Try NOT to suck…   I made that up myself…

You didn’t train for 24 weeks not to bring it on race day…. ^ See above ^.

Galactically Bada** is a state of mind. 

When you see the mile 22 mile marker, just remember, “You’ve got GREAT STAMINA… call me!”

AND when someone says, “JUST KEEP GOING!”, the appropriate response is “THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID.”

AND finally, the most important aspect of GBA marathoning... when things feel a little rough, it's always OK to tell the volunteers & spectators that you “NEED MORE COWBELL.”

Be in the moment.  This is your day, your season, relax and enjoy it.  

You are great.  The proof is all around you.  

If you can't see that, I will help you figure out where to look....

“It's the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting.” ― Paulo Coelho

~savor the run~

g. 

Curse of the 18

GBA RULE of Running #18:

When running an 18 mile training run with MTT, BEWARE THE HOT RUNNING COACH.

So... Did I ever tell you about that 18 miler last year when I got caught up in a conversation with that hot running coach I didn't really know very well and went out too fast and then totally crashed and burned at mile 14 and swore I would NEVER EVER make that mistake again no matter how entertaining or hot the coach was...? 

no?

Okay.

so yeah.

about that.

Last year, I *kinda* did that.  And I swore I wouldn't do it again.  I remember swearing it, over a cup of coffee with TMB.  I am not sure but I think a coffee pledge over a cup of Dunkin Donuts coffee is a little like a blood sister promise, but I could be wrong.

Saturday's run was full of hope...  and then what happened?

And then, it was The Curse of the 18 Miler.

Let me just argue here for a minute that it's not my fault the coach is hot.  It's Virginia... and it was 93% humidity on Saturday.  True story.   just. sayin'.

Q, T, & g.
"Come run MTT, we ALWAYS have this much fun!"

So, as I said, on Saturday I connected with Q at the beginning of my run and we fell into a really good conversation.  That sometimes happens between runner friends who have a lot of running history but who haven't been running together in a while....

It just didn't feel THAT fast to me at the time... 'cos, yeah.  It just didn't.  It never does when this coach and I are running in the same cadence though...   And never mind that with humidity at the start of the run, we all probably should have been under achieving in the first few miles anyway....

Truly those first miles weren't that bad.  Splits on the watch don't lie.  But still, 18 miles, yada yada, the plan to start slow... so after a stern lecture at the first SAG (thanks T)... Q & I reconnected with TMB, 3L & KC, and enjoyed some good hearty laughs on the Nickol Bridge (*snicker snicker*).

Q left us on the first major climb of the route coming off the bridge, and we settled in for a tasty 18 miler.

The route was shady and scenic, with hills for the main dish... some hills on the side... topped with hills.

And we know I love hills.

I was having a great run.  Half way through and I was CHAMPION, even calling out Those People.  KC & 3L left me & T, NBD, even though I knew I was dropping T at mile 11, I wasn't worried.  I was *kinda* looking forward to running alone for a few miles.  I've had a lot on my mind, some "lonely" miles with 899 runners sounded nice.

Yup.  Dropped T, and I was ROCKING IT OUT.

I was dripping puddles of sweat, and stopped at every S.A.G. wagon to drink a silly amount of water, power aid and more power aid.  By mile 14 though... I was getting cramps through my diaphragm and shoulders.  By mile 15.... the cramps were full body, ranging from my calf muscles up through my triceps...  By mile 15.5 or so... I was literally screaming in pain and took stock of my run...

The BAD NEWS was that I was in agony, and every run step I took hurt as more than anything I've ever done, including 3X natural child birth.  I felt bad for Cass's Paul, as he was running with me by this point in the game.

no longer sweating, or smiling.
But Cass's Paul looks good.

The GOOD NEWS was that I was no longer being blinded by sweat.

Hold the phone.... is that good news?

How is this possible?  And that's when I realized that there wasn't any new sweat forming on my arms and running down and dripping off my elbows.  I wonder how long it had been...

um.

The pain was crippling.  I actually (shh...) contemplated calling for a car.  Seriously.  I almost sat down and said, "yeah, go get a coach and fetch me in a car."

But I didn't.  Cos I'm stupid that's how I roll.

Practically crawled back to the Stadium, took a few minutes to flirt with my favorite People (at least I'm honest, though, sadly I wasn't in very good form, given the whole dehydration bit...), and then I limped home with KC (oh and don't worry about the fact that I accidentally spilled 280 oz of coffee in KC's Honda Pilot during the ride), and collapsed into an ice bath.... still screaming in pain, but then again, it's an ice bath, people in my house didn't even question it.

ice bath + coffee + ducky + clothing
while the camera was running.  hello,
people, it's a rated PG blog...

BUT as you people know, I'm not going to let a little thing like "a sucktastic run" get me down.  I'm not that kind of girl.

NO ONE comes into marathon training with the idea that all 680 miles (ok I admit I made that number up) of the training plan are going to be easy or free or light or fast.  Some runs are just going to suck.

There are going to be days when it's a slug-fest of pushing your feet forward one after the other.
There are going to be days when you think that running in the heat is insane.
There are going to be days like this.

And you know...

That's OK.

Because Saturday wasn't the marathon.  It was just a lesson.  A harsh lesson in humility, in preparation, in not taking 18 miles lightly, and, probably the most valuable lesson, (AGAIN) in....

Beware the Hot Running Coach.