Thursday, August 4, 2011

Choice.

It's always a choice.  You can choose.

When life hands you lemons... you can make lemonade, or... squeeze one into a glass of Iced Tea and thank god you're a southern girl...

But sometimes I'm exhausted by all this choosing and lemon squeezing.  My hands are tired.  I want to put on a hat that says, "Cut me the Eff some slack people".  because ....


No matter how much I believe I can “DO” at once…
No matter how hard I try to be PERFECT…
No matter what I try to be for “Others”…
AND no matter how much I pretend that I am a freaking SUPER HERO…
Or even… ~epic~…

What usually ends up happening is that I become aware of something that skims the soul… an acid burn, it peels off a layer, and ….

I wake up.  human.

Human? 

Yes. 

Which makes me something like “marginally competent” to perform the jobs & tasks that are laid out before me.

And flawed. 

I make tons of mistakes. 

Sometimes they’re the OK kind though. I misspeak more often than I speak.  I remember things wrong more often than I remember them.  I can laugh at these things as long as no one is harmed in the making of these mistakes.  And that includes animals…. And children… of both the small kind and adult kind….

I think it’s desperately important to do that, by the way.  If you can’t make fun of your own mistakes, well, you’re missing a great target.  A target who gets your humor and who will think your jokes are freaking hilarious.  (I mean seriously, I crack myself up all the time)

Sometimes my mistakes are a bit more ~ complicated…

Not the kind you laugh at…  I’m trying to learn from them though.  And I forgive.  I forgive myself as needed, and I forgive others for their mistakes.  Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much. ~ Oscar Wilde

Anyway, my soul is burned right now, I’d like to smear a little salve on it to take away the sting.  I wonder sometimes if.... no... wondering seems like a waste of time.

I wish I was a little better at the things I’m not good at, then I would be less imperfect, and more acceptable,… but then, don’t we all?

Anyway.  Wishing and Wondering are a waste of time.  The thing to do right now is to go back to…

To being ~epic~. 
To pretending I’m a FREAKING ~Super Hero~. 
To driving myself forward with unbroken purpose toward the goals of which I have set before me.
To remembering why I think MY goals are important.
To being human, and loving myself despite that...

6 comments:

Alex said...

Love this!

Jen said...

You are a Super Hero!!!!

Chris @ Heavy Steps said...

I really enjoyed this post. I needed it today. Thanks

MCM Mama said...

You rock!

BTW, your sidebar with Garmin directions just saved my butt...

Melissa Cunningham said...

lovely post!!!
you ARE a superhero,even when your hands get tired of making lemonade!
hang in here,
WWGBAD?
(what would GBA do?)

Julie D. said...

ginny, being 'real' is so much better than pretending to have it all together. you are a superhero and i admire so much about you. keep pressing on, friend and know that being authentic, human, raw, and flawed is so much better than being perfect. blech. I hate perfect. ;) You rock.