Thursday, April 16, 2009

a tough break up

Dear Chocolate,

I know our relationship has gone on for a long time, starting almost 30 years ago when I climbed the refrigerator shelves and drank a can of Hershey's syrup, but I think it's time we had a talk.  You see, I've been cheating on you with RedWine.  Unlike you, however, I seem to be able to get enough of RedWine at one sitting.  I know when I'm reaching my limit, and I tend to limit my indulgence with RedWine to only a few tastes per week, sometimes even less.  With you, Chocolate, that doesn't seem to be the case.  I always need more than I have, and will be consumed by my love of you until I'm unrecognizable by my friends.  I think about you all the time.  I worry that I won't see you, and fear running out of you in the middle of the night.

Part of this sudden realization is that I have been studying relationships- from normal ones, all the way to abusive relationships and toxic people.  Both my Psychology and College Success classes at school cover this topic.  I fear that our relationship has reached a toxic level.  I think, before any rash decisions can be made, that you need to see how our relationship has played out.  

To start with, I thought, well, I just thought you were great.  A good friend that I liked to see once or twice a month.  You were someone I could turn to when I was down, and you always seemed to make me feel better.  As time passed though, I admit that seeing you once in a while wasn't enough.  I began to enjoy your company on a daily basis, until, as you I'm sure recall, we moved in together.  I know we've had some breaks in the past, and we've always seemed to work them out, but the thing is, I don't think what we have is healthy anymore.  You see, in the abusive relationship, fear leads to jealousy, which can sometimes lead to rage.  I'm becoming obsessive, jealous, and, well, I don't like to see so much of that side of me.  Please understand, that it's not you, it's me.  

I am asking you to move out.  Take your sister WhiteChocolate with you when you go.  I don't even like her that much, I just keep her around incase you're not handy to dump on, you know?  If you see peanut butter, I know you might want to give him a heads up that his hours are about to be cut as well, but please, I think it's just better if he hears it from me.  

Again, It's not you.  It's me.  I'll always love you, and I wish you the very best in your new life.
g.

1 comment:

TMB said...

funniest thing ever!