My FAVORITE day of the week is BACK!
1) In response to all your comments... WOW, I had not thought of reviewing the Go Girl product, but, I will keep it in consideration should I run out things to be neurotic about. I mean, what could make a Mom feel more crazy than stopping to pee on a run, while standing up? I'll have to be sure that I "practice" as the video suggests online, while wearing a running skirt.
2) FOR the FIRST, and probably only, TIME in the HISTORY of my running, I FINISHED a race in the TOP 3! Actually, to be accurate, I finished in the TOP! Yes, you read that correctly, I ran the RYS Virtual Half Marathon... and WON! (because TMB was race director and took herself out of the running) So stoked though, because I won some NUUN, and I'm excited about trying it this weekend on my long run to see how it treats my stomach!
3) My children are making me crAzy. My oldest children are totally NOT following directions these days, and when I ask them why, they say it's B's fault. While I stand there and lecture them about taking responsibility for their own actions, I know in the back of my head that it's completely unfair. B is capable of taking a perfectly calm and sane situation, and stirring it into madness in 6.5 seconds or less. Like throwing chum into shark infested waters. I guess, in that analogy B is the chum. The phone number to CPS (Child Protective Services) is (804)5....
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
The BIONIC STUDENT
The First week of class is done. 9 to go. If I was counting, which I am.
I have a very strong opinion about my professor, but I will choose to keep it for myself for a few weeks. Perhaps I've judged too soon, perhaps I will change my opinion, perhaps...
Any HOO. She's from the midwest... and she says words that are not grammatically correct... like, putting a T on the end of a word that ends in ck... or... putting a ck on the end of a word that ends in T. Makes. me. nuts.
And... for a minute there I forgot I was keeping my opinion to myself.... so, where was I? It's a 16 week course, condensed into 10 weeks. I knew it was going to be intense.
Perhaps "intense" is not an intense enough word. No matter WHAT you call it, she has a lot of expectations. I love expectations, when they're achievable. But.... for example, she gave us 2 days to read and outline 60 or so pages. Sure, I can read 60 pages, if there's not going to be a test. But, there IS going to be a test, so... I'm just saying, she might want to lower her standards, or, come to grips on the fact that I am not the BIONIC student, and neither are the other students in the class. Yea, go ahead, ask me if I did the reading. Of course I did, but I really felt that I skimmed it to the point of uselessness. Next time she gives that assignment on a Monday that's due on Wednesday, I'm going to take really good notes on 50% of the chapter instead of trying to write light notes on 80% of the chapter.
I have a very strong opinion about my professor, but I will choose to keep it for myself for a few weeks. Perhaps I've judged too soon, perhaps I will change my opinion, perhaps...
Any HOO. She's from the midwest... and she says words that are not grammatically correct... like, putting a T on the end of a word that ends in ck... or... putting a ck on the end of a word that ends in T. Makes. me. nuts.
And... for a minute there I forgot I was keeping my opinion to myself.... so, where was I? It's a 16 week course, condensed into 10 weeks. I knew it was going to be intense.
Perhaps "intense" is not an intense enough word. No matter WHAT you call it, she has a lot of expectations. I love expectations, when they're achievable. But.... for example, she gave us 2 days to read and outline 60 or so pages. Sure, I can read 60 pages, if there's not going to be a test. But, there IS going to be a test, so... I'm just saying, she might want to lower her standards, or, come to grips on the fact that I am not the BIONIC student, and neither are the other students in the class. Yea, go ahead, ask me if I did the reading. Of course I did, but I really felt that I skimmed it to the point of uselessness. Next time she gives that assignment on a Monday that's due on Wednesday, I'm going to take really good notes on 50% of the chapter instead of trying to write light notes on 80% of the chapter.
Monday, May 24, 2010
Don't Be A Hater
An OPEN letter to DHB
Dear Dark Haired B*tch Who Sits in Front of the Class,
Don't be a hater.
Signed,
Neurotic Sahm
I hate mom's who judge. How hypocritical of me, huh?
Seriously though ladies, we're not here to judge how other moms "do it". So what if another mom is screwing up left and right, who's to say its not working for her? The really savvy moms out there, like me, don't waste time judging. No ladies, what you need to do is LEARN from the other moms. See what they do. Try their stuff out. See what does and doesn't work for your Mom-style. Seriously, if I judged people's parenting, I might have missed out on some of life's greatest treasures... like calling salmon "pink fish" so your pink obsessed girl will eat it...
But tonight, at class, I got "THE LOOK" and "SNARKY COMMENT" from DHB. Oh yes, I saw her give me the "look" as she condescendingly said, "I cannot join your study group, I have a son and, unlike some people, I can't give up any time with him to spend studying outside my home."
Oh. Oh. No. She DID NOT just go there. Mr. Nice Guy heard it too, and he agreed that it was unnecessarily snooty. It was definitely aimed at me though. My reply could have been SO unpleasant... but instead I used the tactic of saying one thing, and meaning something else.
What I said? In a very pleasant tone, "Oh yes, as a mother of three children I can really relate to that feeling."
I wonder if DHB heard what I REALLY meant?
Dear Dark Haired B*tch Who Sits in Front of the Class,
Don't be a hater.
Signed,
Neurotic Sahm
I hate mom's who judge. How hypocritical of me, huh?
Seriously though ladies, we're not here to judge how other moms "do it". So what if another mom is screwing up left and right, who's to say its not working for her? The really savvy moms out there, like me, don't waste time judging. No ladies, what you need to do is LEARN from the other moms. See what they do. Try their stuff out. See what does and doesn't work for your Mom-style. Seriously, if I judged people's parenting, I might have missed out on some of life's greatest treasures... like calling salmon "pink fish" so your pink obsessed girl will eat it...
But tonight, at class, I got "THE LOOK" and "SNARKY COMMENT" from DHB. Oh yes, I saw her give me the "look" as she condescendingly said, "I cannot join your study group, I have a son and, unlike some people, I can't give up any time with him to spend studying outside my home."
Oh. Oh. No. She DID NOT just go there. Mr. Nice Guy heard it too, and he agreed that it was unnecessarily snooty. It was definitely aimed at me though. My reply could have been SO unpleasant... but instead I used the tactic of saying one thing, and meaning something else.
What I said? In a very pleasant tone, "Oh yes, as a mother of three children I can really relate to that feeling."
I wonder if DHB heard what I REALLY meant?
Sunday, May 23, 2010
2 days
This weekend I raced ran two races. That's a new one for me. So, why, when it's my wedding anniversary, would I run a 5K in the middle of the afternoon? Weeeeeeeell...
Today C ran her first 5K, and at her request, I went with her. Her little brother G also tagged along, as well as KB&L a few girls from various girl scout troops that we know. The Moms of the girls found out we were running, and I invited the girls to tag along.
At mile .36 B of the KB&L team dropped out. She saw her mom, and decided she needed her inhaler. Safety first. And then... there were 4.
I offered to pace them all at an easy 11:30/12 minute pace. What they did instead was run an 8 min pace for 5 minutes, then walk... then run a 7:30 for 3 minutes, then walk... then run a 10:09 for 5 minutes... then walk... then... SO, I ended up bringing up the rear with G, who really struggled because he would have been better off listening to me and just running easy at that 12 minute pace..... Poor kid, completely untrained. Anyway, it was a 5K, so before we knew it we were at mile 2. At 2.5 we caught C. K&L were just ahead of us (20 feet). And I whispered to G, "you could beat C if you fight for it"... and he did kick it into high gear. They all finished within a few seconds of each other. K&L finished, then G, and then C and then... me!
Today C ran her first 5K, and at her request, I went with her. Her little brother G also tagged along, as well as KB&L a few girls from various girl scout troops that we know. The Moms of the girls found out we were running, and I invited the girls to tag along.
C's Race Photo, getting ready to walk to the start!
So my plan was to be the "chase car" and just run a few feet behind her. Since I ran a Half Marathon yesterday I figured just running a 5K at a 12 min/mile sounded fun and ridiculously easy. Ha. That's not how kids run. But more on that later. At mile .36 B of the KB&L team dropped out. She saw her mom, and decided she needed her inhaler. Safety first. And then... there were 4.
L, g, K, G, and C running past my mailbox, which is on the course.
I offered to pace them all at an easy 11:30/12 minute pace. What they did instead was run an 8 min pace for 5 minutes, then walk... then run a 7:30 for 3 minutes, then walk... then run a 10:09 for 5 minutes... then walk... then... SO, I ended up bringing up the rear with G, who really struggled because he would have been better off listening to me and just running easy at that 12 minute pace..... Poor kid, completely untrained. Anyway, it was a 5K, so before we knew it we were at mile 2. At 2.5 we caught C. K&L were just ahead of us (20 feet). And I whispered to G, "you could beat C if you fight for it"... and he did kick it into high gear. They all finished within a few seconds of each other. K&L finished, then G, and then C and then... me!
Saturday, May 22, 2010
"I Didn't Taper"
Today I woke up a year older. I actually protest that thought, technically I woke up a DAY older, on the anniversary of my birth. So. As I was saying, TODAY I rocked the Rock Your Socks Half Marathon.
At mile 5, the unthinkable happened, I found myself at the front of the pack! Leading a Half Marathon! I think I would be remiss if I failed to mention that the actual leaders were so far ahead of us that they had time to stop & use the restroom, visit with some spectators, and step back onto the course a few seconds after we passed them... within 2 minutes, the moment was passed and I was back in the middle of the pack.
Kudos to the race director for choosing a pleasant course. There were enough gentle hills to make it interesting, but not so many to make you hate it. It was a mix of big roads that gave way to neighborhoods that lead us to country lanes that wound through scenic Glen Allen, VA. The spring air was fragrant and the trees shaded our run with a glorious canopy of green. Tall grass puffed in the breeze, waving their full seed heads at knee height.
It was lovely, the roads were generally free of traffic except for a few touchy spots and, ... "GET OF THE EFFIN' ROAD!!!" Yea, well, no really good race report would be complete without an angry redneck, right?
Seriously though, we ran the first "half" at an easy conversation pace and we picked up our friends for the finish, so the 2nd Half was a 10K. Other than the hairy moment of sprinting over a set of train tracks just as the lights started to flash, it was not exciting, and as expected T pulled away. Not a huge surprise there. She's a strong runner.
At mile 9/10ish *I don't know where, I decided to crank on the speed and catch up to T. She was pretty close looking. Yea, at that point she must've decided the same thing about the ladies ahead of her, because I turned up the speed, and she was just gone. Then at around 11 Cookie arrived beside me to "catch T", which we gave some good effort on, but again, no. Cookie did leave me though, and suddenly I realized, "hey, I'm at mile 12.85! Wow, I REALLY should have put a little more speed on because I feel GREAT." So I checked my watch and realized that... I could get a PR. No seriously, an "easy run" suddenly was going to be a knuckle biter down to the wire race against the second hand (figuratively, of course) on my watch. And I did. I hit Garmin 13.1 at 2:06:23, a whopping 15 seconds faster than my previous Half record.
2:06:23 (PR !!!!) ... and I didn't even taper!
Happy 34th Birthday to me.
Some people choose to sleep in, I choose to run.
ok, can I just say how awesome this photo makes me look, and that I love P90X? I'm on week TWO.
Any of you who are doubters, let me say that again, WEEK 2.
TMB & I started at an easy pace, chatting comfortably. At some point I said I was a little worried about tanking during the race. Three weeks ago I had a ba-ad experience with some GU that resulted in an emergency key hand off/car return to get me on the course. The run was a 12 miler, and I was nervous about reaching mile 12 with nothing in me. And T says, "Well, if you don't do well, no big deal, can always say, 'I didn't taper'."At mile 5, the unthinkable happened, I found myself at the front of the pack! Leading a Half Marathon! I think I would be remiss if I failed to mention that the actual leaders were so far ahead of us that they had time to stop & use the restroom, visit with some spectators, and step back onto the course a few seconds after we passed them... within 2 minutes, the moment was passed and I was back in the middle of the pack.
Kudos to the race director for choosing a pleasant course. There were enough gentle hills to make it interesting, but not so many to make you hate it. It was a mix of big roads that gave way to neighborhoods that lead us to country lanes that wound through scenic Glen Allen, VA. The spring air was fragrant and the trees shaded our run with a glorious canopy of green. Tall grass puffed in the breeze, waving their full seed heads at knee height.
It was lovely, the roads were generally free of traffic except for a few touchy spots and, ... "GET OF THE EFFIN' ROAD!!!" Yea, well, no really good race report would be complete without an angry redneck, right?
Seriously though, we ran the first "half" at an easy conversation pace and we picked up our friends for the finish, so the 2nd Half was a 10K. Other than the hairy moment of sprinting over a set of train tracks just as the lights started to flash, it was not exciting, and as expected T pulled away. Not a huge surprise there. She's a strong runner.
At mile 9/10ish *I don't know where, I decided to crank on the speed and catch up to T. She was pretty close looking. Yea, at that point she must've decided the same thing about the ladies ahead of her, because I turned up the speed, and she was just gone. Then at around 11 Cookie arrived beside me to "catch T", which we gave some good effort on, but again, no. Cookie did leave me though, and suddenly I realized, "hey, I'm at mile 12.85! Wow, I REALLY should have put a little more speed on because I feel GREAT." So I checked my watch and realized that... I could get a PR. No seriously, an "easy run" suddenly was going to be a knuckle biter down to the wire race against the second hand (figuratively, of course) on my watch. And I did. I hit Garmin 13.1 at 2:06:23, a whopping 15 seconds faster than my previous Half record.
2:06:23 (PR !!!!) ... and I didn't even taper!
Friday, May 21, 2010
5 Things Friday
5 Things Friday!
1) NOTHING in the world makes a runner more bad a** than having a point rider on a bike. I promise. Call your best non-running girlfriend for a bike ride/run and see what I'm talking about.
2) Why do kids always get the best fortunes in their cookies? Really, my 3 year old daughter always gets something profound about improving the universe without trying, and I get something like, "ancient chinese proverb says you have to pay for chinese food with cash to enjoy it most". Really?
3) The longer a chore is left undone, the longer it will be put off. (aha - I should be writing fortune cookie fortunes.) Any married woman with kids will confirm that is true.
4) This is the last day I have as a 33 year old woman. Tomorrow, starts the long slow count down to the "new box", as Carrie (Sarah Jessica Parker) in Sex in The City called it.
5) Sunday H & I will have been married for 12 years. So cool, because to me 12 years seems like a long time. Something really worthy of celebrating. Anyone can make it 2 years... but not every one makes it 12. (yea, I know, some don't make it two, this is not a judgement, I don't judge.) Every year for our anniversary, H & I have gone over the top to try to find a cheap item that matches the "YEAR" and doesn't break the bank. It started this way because when we were first married, all we could afford to buy each other was a card (paper). We'd just bought a house, with a new refrigerator... so... yea, "Happy Anniversary Dear".
Over the years the gifts I gave him ranged from the practical to the funny... IRON (6th) a driver, which the guy at the sports store assured me could be referred to as a driving iron (golf club)... and Bronze (8th) was a "Bronzing" at a Spray Tan place. Copper (7th) was a tube of CopperTone *he's fair and burns easily, it's the family joke. Pottery (9) was a coffee cup. Last year I bought him a $50 bottle of wine from a vineyard with the word Steel in it, and... something I choose not to mention in Blogland, but was Stainless Steel (11th). So this year is SILK!!! 12!!!! I'm super "stoked", and super "wondering what am I going to get him that's SILK?" I mean, it would be so easy for him, Step 1. go into Victoria's Secret, Step 2 tell the lady you need anything size M that's silk. Done.
I can't exactly do that, can I? And he does not work in a tie wearing kind of job - no need for silk tie. Wait a minute... Silk Sheets? What do you think, would a man want silk sheets for his 12th anniversary?
In past years, when I've come up blank, I've done some crazy things like, for the year Aluminum/Tin (hello?) I got myself "internationally" waxed. I figured, that was way better for him than a tin cup....
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