Thursday, July 24, 2008

Black, it's the new, um... black

For years I worked in retail.  And I remember when Gray was the new Black, when Brown was the new Black and when Houndstooth was the new Black.  You know what I really took out of working retail?  Black is really the new Black.  It's always in, it's always classic, it matches everything, and as long as the world is a dirty place, it will never go out of style.  So, when I said I wanted a new pair of tall black boots this winter, I pictured something really sleek.  Perhaps, suede or shiny leather, with a sharp heel and a rounded toe.  Something with a slim line so when I zipped it up, it clung to the shape of my calf, both slimming and elongating my short legs.  I was imagining wearing them with a particularly cute skirt and sassing a bit in them, or another skirt and wearing them as my b*tch boots.  

Yea, so about that.  This is SO not what I had in mind.  For one, I had hoped I could afford 2 boots, not just "boot", and the next is that this is anti-sexy.  If there is anything less sexy than this boot I haven't found it yet.

So, I saw the Dr today.  I know some of you were waiting on an update, and here it is.  Good News (dripping sarcasm), it's NOT BROKEN.  Yeah.  That's great.  Its still in a bloody cast.  Yea, you heard me.  Under this boot is a cast that cannot be removed for 2 weeks because I have NOT BROKEN my foot.  What I did is apparently nearly as bad as breaking it though in the eyes of my Podiatrist.  I have ripped the ligament under the Tibialis Anterior Tendon and something about connecting the Medial Cuneiform Bone or something like that to another bone and Navicular definitely came up in the conversation at some point...  Honestly, I nearly freaked out when the sentence started with ripped... ligament... tendon...and ended in cast.  All I know for sure is that when Dr. Glazer (who is a Goddess and deserves all my adoring praise, even though I didn't enjoy her news today) was manipulating it, it hurt... a lot.  A LOT.

Do you know I rode BMX for several years, rode (and fell off) horses for the last 23 years straight and have NEVER had an injury that required a cast?  I've still never broken a bone, but this is obscene in my mind.  Can I even tell you what the impact of a human body being thrown from a 1200 pound horse sounds like?  Well, it's a hell of a lot louder than 2 feet running.  Running?  RUNNING?  I damaged my foot running?  

So the bottom line is that right now, at this moment, my foot is encased in a soft cast and must be wrapped in a boot when in motion.  It cannot get wet for 13 days.  My diagnosis called for 21 days, but I talked her down to under 2 weeks.  I am unable to swim, bike, walk or run until it is removed and I get the blessing of the Podiatrist.  At this moment it ITCHES and I can't ITCH IT!!!  It is also in excruciating pain because it has been "set" in the position to which will encourage healing, which also happens to be the position that is most painful.  The drugs I have been graced with have not yet kicked in... as we go to press here I'm hoping for a miracle.  

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