Friday, February 17, 2012

An Apology to Depression

Dear Depression,

I apologize for my false accusations.  I said that I would ignore you when you demand that I lay down in bed for a midday nap.  And I have.  I have been ignoring you like a skinny bitch ignores Red Velvet cake with homemade White Chocolate Icing.  And the exhaustion has gotten worse.

Please accept my sincerest apologies.

gba gf

On Tuesday I crawled up my stairs and into my bed after my shower left me too tired to stand.  I napped for an hour.  After preparing dinner, I, again, needed a thirty minute rest before I could help my husband put our kids to bed.  I've been going to bed at 8:30 and getting up around 6:30 in an effort to try to shake this exhaustion.  I could fall asleep right now, typing this, because I went to the grocery store and bringing in the food has worn me down.

So when I say the tiredness has gotten "worse", what I think I mean to say is that it's now "much worse" and impacting my daily life.

In lab class we "assess" each other all the time.  It's how we practice.

On Thursday I discovered an auditory canal infection in a classmate.  On Thursday that same student looked at the membranes of my eyes and mouth, and called our professor over for an opinion.  She was quite firm with her evaluation that I need to go to the MD ASAP.

She got a little bit in my face and started asking me pointed questions about my blood counts and hct #'s and I had to finally look at her and say, "I don't know".  She seemed a bit alarmed by the fact that I am feeling and (apparently) looking "like this" and not getting my a** to the Md PRONTO.

I guess, after her lecture, I felt the same way.  Why am I being obtuse?  Only now that it's time to walk out the door, and I feel ridiculous.  I'm not sick, I'm just tired.  Too tired to stand up while I write this, but seriously, aren't all nursing-student-mother-runners tired by Friday?

I guess not quite this bad, huh?

I know it's time to stop ignoring all this.

UPDATE - Yes I went.  Md suspects 2 things, both simple and neither life threatening.  So, according to him, he really hopes its one of those two, because they're both fixable.  


Michelle said...

Get your GBA to the doctor and make them listen to you. You'll be glad you did.

(Just) Trying is for Little Girls said...

A few years ago I was exhausted all the time and ended up diagnosed as anemic. Two nights in the hospital and a blood transfusion later, I was fixed. Go to the doctor, G.

Oh, and on a lighter note, your boyfriend, Bart Yasso, is now following me on Twitter. I won't make too many moves on him.

Pam said...

PLEASE get yourself checked out.

Jill said...

Go, go...lets us know how it goes! Sorry to hear all this! Get better!

Michelle Dragoo said...

Please keep us posted (and get checked out)...I know how scary this can be! xoxo!

Char said...

You seriously have to go and do it. I've just been diagnosed with post viral fatigue after being exhausted for weeks. I felt silly going to the doctor and saying I was tired - cause isn't everyone tired?! But there's tired and there's TIRED where all you can do is lie on the bed and want to cry because you don't have the energy to do anything else. It could be a really easy fix and you'll kick yourself for not going sooner.

bobbi said...

Thinking about you - hope you are ok...