I lost my mojo. Again.
It’s happened before, so I know I will find it. Eventually. The thing is, it’s never really where I found it last time. Once I found it in a book. One time I found it in a pair of shoes. Oh, then there was that time that I found it in the e-mail that read, “Sportsbackers Marathon Training Team Registration Confirmation”.
SO I’m out here pounding the pavement, looking and looking. Barely hanging on in some respects because without mojo, you have to do a lot of mental work to keep forward momentum.
I kept thinking that this time I’m going to find it in my Brooks, on my bike as I'm out riding with The Ladies of the Lanes, or in a blank Word document. Odd how Word has the ability to wipe my mind completely clean of all inspiration and thought...
I’m pretty sure I’m not going to find it in my SPEEDO, because even though SPEEDO and MOJO look a lot alike in the ‘words that make sense to no one’ department, most people would agree that finding extra anything in a speedo is kind of difficult, or even disappointing, for the average swimmer. And then there’s the point that I’m certainly not looking at anyone else’s speedo for my mojo... there’s a fail just waiting to happen....
I thought I MIGHT have found my MOJO a few weeks ago running loose on the streets of Richmond. It was an early morning MTT run, and we passed a woman in platform stiletto heels on the corner saying, “Here ‘tis. Here ‘tis!”. Upon closer inspection of the situation I determined it wasn’t my mojo she was advertising.
So, I kept pushing on without it. And Tuesday night, I had a breakthrough. A development that is making me wonder if this time I will find it in my grocery store.
See, I had a glimmer of my mojo the other night on a hard effort bike ride. There’s a hill on the route we took that freaking scares me. Not the down part. I mean, yes its steep but I’m not afraid of the drop. That I can control. I can choose my speed of descent. My rate, my pace, and my position are my choice.
No... what scares me on that hill is the climb. What if I fail?
So, on Tuesday I dropped to the back of the pack and was patient. And then when I felt the balance was right, I took a risk and attacked the hill. I realized on the way up that I was riding completely free of fear. I trusted my bike, my legs, and my ability to handle myself...
And the only thing I really changed on Tuesday was that I ate a calorie dense high protein high carb meal around midday with Biolabud. It was a ridiculous amount of food, but I was starving. And I felt great afterwards. The midday beer might have helped my mood too.
Huh. I have to wonder...
What if I went back to eating like an elite athlete, instead of eating like a girl-scout cookie ingredient list?
Could my mojo be found in a proper amount of protein?
Possibly my mojo is searching for a better carb balance?
Regardless, the MOJO is gone again.
I know because I was wimpy, whining, complaining and somewhat b*tchy by the end of my Wednesday morning ride. It’ll come back eventually. I’ll find it.
In the mean time, I’m off to the grocery store for some eggs, whole grains and produce. Because even if the MOJO isn’t in the food, I’m still ravished and need to find a way to fuel myself responsibly. Like the athlete I am.
~savor the Mojo~