Friday, August 27, 2010

Is this IT?

Is this just how motherhood is?  Unexpected and bewildering 100% of the time?

Tonight was going along normally.  After the "after dinner play" that our children performed, I took B down to have her bath.  My husband parked himself in front of the TV reading his email and watching the Redskins get their skins handed to them, while our older kids played up on the third floor.

I heard a cell phone go off.

H answered it, and suddenly he's in the bathroom handing me the phone, "It's Mr. Ocean".

"Mr. Ocean is calling for me?"  OK, sure, so I take the phone and tentatively answer, wondering why my neighbor and very good friend Ocean is having her H call me, instead of just calling herself....

He got off to a rough start, "Um... I don't...  We don't blame...  It's not anyones..." big breath, "So we're at the Hospital with Offspring #1, and we think he has a concussion, and we don't know... well, he said he asked G to wrestle him to the ground so we hoped that you might have seen something... did... you?  see?  if his head hit anything?"

GASP~  "I did see XYZ happen, this is exactly what I saw, I didn't see his head hit or even suspect that it could be a concussion worthy event."

And we worked through the details, I gave the run down, I hung up, talked to G, called Mr. Ocean back and gave him everything I had learned, Ocean gets on the phone and assures me that they're not mad at me or G or blaming anyone, that these things happen.  So I told them to let me know if there is anything I could do and hung up.

How do you punish your kid for giving their best neighbor friend a concussion, when the kid asked your kid to wrestle him to the ground?  And when your kid is sobbing that he broke his friend's head?  I didn't.  I probably am doing it all wrong, but I told him that it seemed he'd punished himself enough already... and that he would never wrestle a friend again, would he?

"NO"... or at least that's the gist of what I got through the hiccups and tears.

But what I am wondering is this...  is this parenthood?  Is this what went on between mothers when we all got sent to our rooms even though it was our brother who was in trouble, and our friends were forced to wait in the car even though it was their brother in trouble?  The why behind the late afternoon phone calls that were exchanged like guilt pies with buttery crusts and sweet warm centers?  Is this what I have to look forward to for the next 13... 15... 20 years?

8 comments:

Anne said...

Get used to it...

You did good...no need for punishment, he certainly didn't want to hurt him.

You're a great mom!

Chele said...

Its like the time I convinced my friend we should throw a metal pole at each other to see who caught better. 1/2 of my 2 front teeth are fake now. Then there was that one time we decided to act like the baseball players on TV & swing 2 bats & I knocked 4 teeth out of a kid or the time we decided jumping over cinderblocks on horses w/ no equipment was smart & I hit my head on one and got stitches or that time....

Julie said...

went through something similar lately and I think it's just part of the deal. Not fun though. I don't think G should be punished at all or need to stop wrestling. They are kids. My kids will wrestle until they don't feel like wrestling anymore. Its part of being boys (and girls who want to) :) It is fun. It was an accident. Wrestling is a HUGE activiity in our house and as long as it doesn't get malicious is encouraged!! You are a great mom! Accident!!

kat said...

I hope both of them are all right, I think you were right not to punish, G gets it, thats all that matters. Lord motherhood is a mind field, your doing a great job, a tough job, but a great job. I am one of seven, I need to call my mum today and tell her what a great mum she is, we must've put her through hell.

P said...

Yikes! I think you and G both have put yourself through enough guilt, this was definitely an accident!
To answer your rhetorical question: Yes, motherhood is confusing and confounding almost all of the time, but you're doing your best and that's what really matters!

Jen said...

So how is offspring #1?

momof3 said...

Offspring #1 is just fine... minor concussion.

longlegsontheloose.com said...

I think you did the exact right thing! He's a great kid and like you said...guilt is worse than anything. He didn't do anything wrong he was playing and it just didn't turn out the right way. You talked to him about it and that's all that needed to be done. Hope G isn't too down on himself!