Tuesday, August 3, 2010

man repellent

It's been brought to my attention that I may be the dumbest person alive.  Am I the dumb girl?  With big boobies and a tan?  May.  be.

I am not a Victoria Secret model.  I'm about 25 pounds over my UBER skinny weight.  When I run I sweat.  Like a HORSE.  I breath like one too.  My face and body are caked with white salt at the conclusion of my efforts.  I'm not that good looking to start with.  Really, I'm normal, I don't break mirrors, but I don't stop traffic either.  In fact, last week, on Thursday, I ran with a girl at the MTT hill training who was Adorable.  Wow.  Like, WOW.  I had to concentrate to talk to her, she was just so darned cute and sweet.  And after we ran together a lot of men came up to, uh, "talk to us".  Not me, her.  Did I mention how terribly cute she was?

On Sunday, one of those guys came and spoke to me again.  His feelings were a little hurt that I didn't remember his name, but, sorry dude, I was introduced to about 5 guys in 5 minutes.  Anyhoo, we got his name squared away, I introduced him to DeNiece... and He invited me to go running with him, I declined based on my 10:20 mile training pace... versus his 8:30/mile training pace.  He asked me to go running shorts shopping with him, which I laughed off.  He wondered if I was running Patrick Henry Half, and would we run the same pace THAT day?  He'd like it if I was there, I could run bandit with him if it sold out.  I explained PH Half is traditionally very hot.  He then invited me biking....  and finally, he walked me to DeNiece's car.

This is just silly.  5 times in that conversation I dropped the words - 3 kids, Family, Husband, Kids...  geez, kids is usually a pretty good man repellent.  Not only that, I have about 15 diamonds wrapped around my left hand ring finger.  He couldn't be into me.

DeNiece says, "Um.  g?"

I really argued that he wasn't really into "me".

DeNiece politely says I'm stupid.

I argued that all he did was make fun of my Cheetah Runningskirt.

DeNiece points out that as a 3rd grader, that's how a boy shows you he likes you...  so, if he pulled my hair and hit me, it's probably love.

I got quiet.  There was some elbow bumping last Thursday, but I thought - I mean, I thought he liked the OTHER girl.  It wasn't inappropriate elbow bumping, I SWEAR, we just took a turn too tight, and you all know I can't run in a straight line.  I mean, geez, I run into T ALL THE TIME.

So how is it, that with all that MAN REPELLENT floating around me, I seem to have attracted a nice looking 30something man?

But the one thing I guess I never considered is this:

Man repellent is completely over powered by 'headlights'.  And after a run, my headlights are ALWAYS shining.  So there you go.  It's time to get a better bra.

19 comments:

Rene' said...

just what i needed this am. i am laughing all the way to the shower. have a good day!

kat said...

It's the running that glow, that self confidence, the endorphins that cause us to look attractive even when we think we look bad, good on ya, I bet your a lot sexier than you give yourself credit for, and from your pics I think your pretty cute, so take the compliment you deserve it.

RunHapi13 said...

Haha. First, you ARE that pretty. Second, welcome to the high beams club, I am President and am looking for a VP. Third, some men find sweat attractive. Fourth, eww, a boy likes you! Lol. Point him out on Sunday please...

Anne said...

Of course a man think you're cute...you are! Plus, runners are hot ;)

I say, enjoy the flirting...but, remind him every once in a while of all the people you have waiting for you at home! :)

P said...

LMAO!

Robyn said...

Wanna give him my number?? Haha, great post. And don't doubt it, of course he thought you were cute!

Lady Em said...

Where do I get a bra like that? I need to be the one attracting the menfolk...=)

bobbi said...

bwahahaha!! Awesome!

shellyrm aka jogging stroller mama said...

As cute as you look when you run, uh duh! Of course guys are interested. Headlights blind men to the normal "taken" signs.

My husband would have had a cow! And I would be running in an Army pt uniform again.

racing dawn said...

Hahahaha! So funny. Great story!

DaphneB said...

That was a good read. I loved how funny and unexpected your last line was lol! Man-repellent doesn't work when you're all confident and glowy and sporting headlights...it doesn't work half the time anyway. Give yourself more credit, and bask in the confidence booster that being flirted with is. As long as you don't give him any mixed signals and he doesn't cross any lines, you'll be fine. =o)

Jen said...

Too funny... I need to share my stories with you some day.

I like the UA zip front bra... but my headlights are smaller and smaller these days!

Dave said...

This is great.

So now, when you introduce me to the really cute, like, wow, adorable girl you ran hill training with last week, I know that innocent elbow bumping & obsession with headlights is probably not the best way to go... haha.

momof3 said...

oh awesome - he's 26!!!

Pam said...

LOL 26 -- even better!!!

When ya got it, ya got it, babe!

MCM Mama said...

LMAO!! You cradle robber! ;o)

Julie said...

THIS IS THE BEST POST EVER! yes. i'm yelling it. Freaking hilarious! if you got it, flaunt it! Your a sexy mom of 3, claim it! LOL!

obxbchgrl said...

Umm, I think I need to come run with you. There are 0 guys around here that are into running and single.

Or maybe I should find me some headlight-inducing bras. Wanna trade?

Run on.

Laurie said...

ha ha, so funny. thanks for sharing :)