Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Cycling as a Language

Whenever I go into The Bike Store, I always feel like I felt my entire trip to France.

I speak enough of the LANGUAGE to get by, I can communicate my immediate needs, but the nuances are just enough “off” that it’s VERY clear that I’m from the town of RUNNING and that CYCLING is not my first language.

Every time I cross the threshold the sales men attack me, salivating over the possible upsells they can add on… it’s probably because a few times I’ve gone in and truly just said, “Oh, do I need that?  Great, I’ll take it.  Do I need one of these too?  Ok then, I’ll take two of those…”

Well Today, I went in for ONE ITEM.  A true test of mental strength:  Going into The Bike Store for only one thing.

Yup.  I went right into that store.  Went for the item I needed.  Went to the register to pay.  And the sales guy immediately started in on, “Those aren’t the droids you’re looking for…”

Seriously dude?  This is exactly what I need.

“I use XYZ product.  It’s what the serious cyclists use.”

Whoops – wrong direction to take here fella, I’m not a serious cyclist…

“I think it’s best if you get This and That.”

I need to phone a friend... can I get a lifeline...?  This says it does both this and that, in one for half the cost.

“This is better, and it’s what the real cyclists use…”

hmm.  Really?  If this isn’t what the real cyclists use… why do you sell it?... (blank stare)… I used to be in sales… the proper response is, “Well, we have to sell it, for people who are just casual cyclists, but you said you have a road bike, so you’d probably appreciate a higher end product…”

“Do you want a job?  We’re hiring…”

And that my friends, is how you go into the bike store, to buy ONE item and leave with only ONE item and a job offer.


Julie said...


bobbi said...

Love it! :)

Jen said...

Twinsies... seriously, remind me to tell you about why I was offered a job at my LBS.... hint: it involved a $4K bike and a shy guy!

kat said...

Very funny,


Hilarious! But that right there is why I am avoiding upgrading my bike. I know they are going to oversell me and I have no idea what I actually need.

Meredith said...

That's awesome!!

Allison said...

This is exactly how I feel in a bike store (minus the job offer)!