Tuesday, May 17, 2011

SLAP!

Yesterday I got a virtual slap.  Not from one of my best girl friends, like last time, but ~yes~ from a friend.

It stung a little.

Actually.  No.  It HURT like a b*tch.

I wasn't expecting it.

I tried to brush it off, because really, REALLY I had it coming, but. wow.


"Don't be that person."

Who knew?  I have become someone I can't stand. i.e. I am now "the recreational athlete who becomes so obsessed with their training that you cringe when you see their name in your inbox".


great.  effing. great.

And then with the sting from the slap still tingling, I went out to do my usual Monday Brick workout.  An easy ride followed by an easy run with KC.

So I spent the first half of the ride overanalyzing every aspect of overanalyzing my workouts while thinking about the slap (which had to do with... overanalyzing... not about triathlons... but ~no~ the irony was not lost on me...).

Hilly route with cars and two bikes.  Bad combination.  Distracted and 25mph?  Uh yeah.  uberBAD.

I finally confessed to Kc what was on my mind while we were slugging up one of the hills.

The reason I am over analyzing everything...
The reason I'm driving my friends crazy enough that they're willing to slap me before 8am...
The reason my husband just listed me for sale on e-bay for $8.87...

I'm oddly nervous.

About this race.

I'm afraid I'm going to let people down.

Isn't that weird?  Why would I worry about letting OTHER people down over what's supposed to be a "fun" Birthday Triathlon.  

No one cares.

This is like high school when you're new and you feel like everyone is staring at you, only, no one is actually staring at you because they're too worried that you - the new girl - is staring at them.

huh.

That was kind of telling there....

I'm truthfully afraid that I have trained for all this time, and I will suck.

And all these freakishly amazing TRI-friends of mine will see how badly I suck.  Any running greatness I may have ever achieved will be completely un-done by my suckage at the Triathlon.

I have this super little bike, so I can't blame a poor performance on my ride.
I trained & practiced transitions, so if I F*cK up I can't blame it on lack of preparation.
I can freaking swim. so if I choke in the pool, it's no one's fault but... my... own.

If I suck, it's because I suck.  

And if I was coaching someone, and they said all that, I would shake them firmly and say, "THAT is NO WAY TO MENTALLY PREPARE FOR ANYTHING".  But then, as I'm fond of saying, I'm not a coach.

I need to OWN THIS TRI.

So after I freaked out whined a bit poured my insecurities out onto the roads of the Hilly Hall, KC reminded me of something, whether she meant to remind me or not.

I'm not SpeeDee, World Class Kate, Du Q, Top 3 TMB, or The Witch Dr...

I'm GBA** GF.

No one goes by the acronym Galactically Bada** Girl Friend because they believe they are, indeed, a world.class.athlete.   They go by that acronym, and they name their team Galactically Bada** Running, because they KNOW how to bring it and have FUN on race day.

I do this stuff to have fun and test my own limits.  I do this with heart and passion, with an ultimate goal to get STRONGER and try new things.  I am here for the experience of it all.

The training is done.  The "hay is in the barn"...  I need to spend the next 6 days mentally preparing for the FUN I'm going to have when I bring it to my Birthday Triathlon.
Galactically Bada** indeed.

~Savor the Run~

12 comments:

MCM Mama said...

You are a GBA** GF. You will bring the fun and I predict you'll love it so much you'll start brining the fun all the darned time. ;o)

And honestly, I think you'll rock it. (Sounds like you got some mini taper craziness going on over there.)

Have a fabulous time! Do your best! And know that at least one of your friends thinks that the fact that you are even doing a tri is GBA**.

RunHapi13 said...

See, I was only echoing your vibes - I could care less about time or pace or place for your BDay Tri or any race because you are out there...and you are putting yourself out there everyday...you see, I believe and stand by the creed of: "if your heart isn't in it and you don't enjoy it, why bother..." I am no great or skilled athlete, just a girl with some shoes, a bike and a funny breast stroke.
and THIS girl will always be in your corner cheering.

fancy nancy said...

You are such a GBA**GF!!! I can understand being nervous but following your training you have definitely put in the work! Have a great week and pump yourself up....you're going to rock this!!

Anne said...

I'm impressed that you're even doing this! You are such an inspiration...seriously, no matter how you do, you've put in some great workouts, while studying and raising kids...you totally rock!!!
Make sure to have a GBA** blast :)

trifitmom said...

i am curious what the friend said ??

good luck, own it.

Jen said...

I felt the same way for my Tri... and do you know what.... it saved me on the swim, when I *wanted* to give up... when I *needed* to quit... the thought that TG would give me sh*t about me quitting not how poorly I swam!

So, my friend, use it... use it to push youself if you feel like you cannot go any further. You *are* a marathoner for goodness sake... what's more GBA than that?

Oh yeah, a Half Ironman... we will get there!

Katie said...

You are going to do GREAT!!

TMB @ RACING WITH BABES said...

I know you are going to kill it. If nothing else, think of this as a stepping stone to the real goal - 70.3.

p.s. As of this a.m., my Top 3 status is in jeopardy. I'm getting ousted. I know, you love me. And hate me.

(Just) Trying is for Little Girls said...

Indeed. Indeed! Good luck this weekend. Having fun is not something everyone does well, you know.

ann said...

You will kill it. Just remember - it's all about you. it's YOUR race

Pam said...

I'm sorry, but I'm laughing at this. At YOU. For thinking you could POSSIBLY suck at anything! :)

Rene' said...

Oh G...where could this possibly be coming from? You are going to do awesome. In fact your biking and swimming has inspired me for my first tri. (shhhh....top secret) Remember you are the original GBA!