Friday, May 6, 2011

will you bail me out?

How many of you would bail me out if I needed it?

Today I spent about 20 minutes with my daughter at a little girl jewelry store buying the perfect gift for her friend's birthday.  It was exciting.  We went straight from the mall to the party where I dropped her off.  She's 11.

And to think just a few hours later I would be contemplating JAIL TIME.

Yeah, so here's the thing...  my daughter went to a birthday party tonight... and got kicked in the face.

She has a black eye, a damaged ego, a swollen face, and, oh yeah, did I mention it's her dance recital tomorrow and she has an effing BLACK EYE?

So.  I went to pick her up from the party.  I arrived with no idea that there was a situation.  Note to parents, should this happen at a party you are hosting, ALWAYS warn the incoming mom there's a possible issue, and ALWAYS make it sound SO MUCH WORSE over the phone than it actually is... because if you don't ... well...

I took one look at my child's swollen bruised face and I felt my control slip.  Like, deep down there was some kind of battle between the real me... and this....



...as I felt my control slipping...  for a solid 15 seconds I thought... "I'm going to get arrested today.  And... if I'm not there to hold him back, well, when H gets a load of this eye, he will too.... so.... who will bail us out?"

I stayed calm.  Yes, I was, angry... ok, ok, I stayed MOSTLY calm.... 
   
I held it together and I managed not to go to jail.

Who knew my goals today would be so lofty?


"What did you do today, g?" 


well, oh, you know ~ the usual ~ I got up at 4:30am, went for a swim, and a run, took my final exam in Ethics, played with the kids, made dinner, narrowly avoided being arrested... just a typical friday here at Chez Moi...

But seriously, I was cool, level, and didn't make a total a** out of myself in the moment.

Um.

Ok, 40% on that.

And right now, just retelling this story is making my eye twitch... because deep down inside, I really. really. really. want to kick someone in the face.

12 comments:

MCM Mama said...

I would, 100%. bail you out. Or fight with you. I've got your back. Know that.

And, what the hell?

bobbi said...

I would ABSOLUTELY bail you out. My teeth are all clenching and my eyebrow is twitching just reading this. Seriously, who lets this go without a preemptive phone call?!?

Alex said...

Oh I just want to give her a hug. She will rock it anyways!!!

Michelle said...

Wow! What a crappy situation :(

Rene' said...

What happened??? You know that I would bail you out, but I might be in jail with you.

Michelle said...

Holy sh*t! My momma bear instincts instantly went up when thinking of my child with a black eye and an incident. Bail sent from Walla Walla!

RunHapi13 said...

I would a) bail you out, b) drive you back to the house to hold the person while you Mama Grizzly Bear them inthe face, then c) tell you to leave and head home to your family and just let them try to pin it on me.
C is tough and I know her awesome Mom will help her thru this. And she is so pretty that no one will notice her eye at rehearsal.
PS - I am free Saturday night, you know, IF you need a ride anywhere or help with anything (ahem).
Lucky for this person that ShyAmy is out of town.
Just sayin'. <3

Running Mama said...

That's such a bummer. Love the mama bear pic because my son had to say what animal I'd be (in the Mother's Day book he made me) and of course he said a mama bear. I can totally get that when when necessary. Stink about it being in time for the recital too. Btw, I think any mom would bail you out. :)

runningtobeskinny.com

Julie D. said...

Oh no! I'm sure we could all pool our money together and get you out! You probably should have went for the bear persona. We've got you covered next time! That is awful. So sorry!!

Meredith said...

Oh, I would be a mother bear at that point too!! Holy cow!!

Courtney said...

I would totally bail you out. I can't believe no one called you to tell you what happened?!

DaphneB said...

Oooooh mannnnn.....I can totally relate. There should have been a phone call made, for sure.