Today I spent about 20 minutes with my daughter at a little girl jewelry store buying the perfect gift for her friend's birthday. It was exciting. We went straight from the mall to the party where I dropped her off. She's 11.
And to think just a few hours later I would be contemplating JAIL TIME.
Yeah, so here's the thing... my daughter went to a birthday party tonight... and got kicked in the face.
She has a black eye, a damaged ego, a swollen face, and, oh yeah, did I mention it's her dance recital tomorrow and she has an effing BLACK EYE?
So. I went to pick her up from the party. I arrived with no idea that there was a situation. Note to parents, should this happen at a party you are hosting, ALWAYS warn the incoming mom there's a possible issue, and ALWAYS make it sound SO MUCH WORSE over the phone than it actually is... because if you don't ... well...
I took one look at my child's swollen bruised face and I felt my control slip. Like, deep down there was some kind of battle between the real me... and this....
...as I felt my control slipping... for a solid 15 seconds I thought... "I'm going to get arrested today. And... if I'm not there to hold him back, well, when H gets a load of this eye, he will too.... so.... who will bail us out?"
I stayed calm. Yes, I was, angry... ok, ok, I stayed MOSTLY calm....
Who knew my goals today would be so lofty?
"What did you do today, g?"
well, oh, you know ~ the usual ~ I got up at 4:30am, went for a swim, and a run, took my final exam in Ethics, played with the kids, made dinner, narrowly avoided being arrested... just a typical friday here at Chez Moi...
But seriously, I was cool, level, and didn't make a total a** out of myself in the moment.
Ok, 40% on that.
And right now, just retelling this story is making my eye twitch... because deep down inside, I really. really. really. want to kick someone in the face.