Sunday, January 27, 2013

Angry Drivers Need Not Apply

Dear Honda Civic Owner with the Anger Management Issues,

On Saturday when you chose not to move into an empty lane on a 4 lane road so you could run me off the road, you exposed yourself as an a**h***.

I'm particularly sorry that your life is so small that you felt you had to pull a U-Turn and drive parallel to me while screaming obscenities as I was running. I was 2 inches off the white line.

Your expressed desire to see me dead was rather interesting to me.

I wonder if maybe it didn't occur to you that 1) If you hit me and don't kill me, I will own your fecking Honda Civic. 2) If you hit me and kill me, I have a father who will ensure that my children own your fecking Honda Civic. 3) You will probably lose your license and your job if you kill a pedestrian when she is so clearly NOT occupying the travel lane. 4) If you have so much anger in your life that you need to almost wreck your car so you can yell at a 136 lbs 5'2 female runner, I implore you to go get a therapist. I will pray dearly that the therapist recommends running as a stress release.

About an hour after our exchange, the sidewalks melted enough that I was able to run on them instead of on the 2 inches of road you so desperately needed for your compact car.

Regards,

The Future Owner of YOUR Honda Civic

4 comments:

carrie said...

Amen! Someone needs to take that driver out and buy them some running shoes...

Pam said...

Someone needs to take that driver out and BEAT HIM with some running shoes.

Melissa Cunningham said...

love it!! dont know how you kept your cool while the death wishes were being screamed at you!!!!

and lol about praying for running as therapy for anger issues!!!
too funny!
glad you are ok and no other crazy drivers were around!!!!

Autumn in July said...

You tell em! Ridiculous road rage from said Honda is out of control. I like the idea of beating him with running shoes would be fun!