Friday, January 23, 2009

awkward Pause #7...

OK, so you know when that mother's intuition goes off in your mind, and you don't know what to do about?  Well, for all you out there who read the blog, I would love a little help.   

G's teacher, Mrs Flower, is going to make me insane.  I'm sorry, but she is, and it's not nice to say but...  OK, here's the thing.  My mother's intuition is going CRAZY at the moment, and EVERYDAY it tells me not to send G back to school with that teacher.  I'm serious.  That's crazy in itself.  But here are some of the reasons, and while they sound little, once you realize how they might impact a child over a period of time (less than 2 weeks), maybe you'll agree that my intuition is right.  If it's not, or if you think I'm the crazy one, please feel free to let me know that too....  maybe i need to hear it.

1st event)  The other day G came home with a stack of graded papers.  One of the papers was a 45 math problem addition sheet (9+3=__).  On the bottom is a note:  Mrs F, G was not able to finish this in the time allowed.  Mrs Flower.  The next paper was identical lay out, again 45 math problems on the page, "Mrs F.  G was given an hour to finish this, and was not able to focus on the problems.  Mrs Flower."  WHoa- um.  An hour?  What person asks a 1st grader to work on something for an hour.  It's like she's SETTING him up to fail.  "Here G, work on this.... what?  You're not done?  Well that's an N".  (an F equivalent).  

2nd event)  G gets off the bus, business as usual, wash hands, have a snack, sit down to do homework...  and I notice that his eye is a little purple.  "G are you tired?"  "No"... and then he turns his head and I notice the other eye is getting purple.  Wait a minute.... so I look closely at his nose, and there's a blood rim around the inside of both nostrils.  What happened???  Well, I got a bump at school from a ball.  Why wasn't I called?  What is the deal?  I called the ped, called the school, called the ped, questioned G, and the bottom line is that I should have been called, even if it was well after the fact.  His nose wasn't broken, but the ped agreed with me...  it was obviously a big hit.  I iced the nose, just to keep the swelling/bruising to a minimum, and by today, he looks fine.  A little jaundiced (yellow), but fine.  So here's my chief complaint.  Did the teacher not tell me because she's afraid of me?  OR, scary thought, did she not tell me because she KNOWS better than me?  Because that's the impression I got from the phone... "It didn't seem like a big deal."  Am I over reacting?

3rd event)  And this is either huge, or small.  His lunchbox came home yesterday completely full.  He didn't eat his snack.  He didn't eat his lunch (he bought).  Why?  Why didn't the teacher say, "Mrs F never forgets to send a snack.  Never once.  Let's just take a quick look in his bag and see about this."  How he missed his bright yellow lunch box is beyond me, but he says he didn't see it in his bag.  I just don't get it.  Why would she let him go hungry all morning until lunch?  No kid could focus on 2 waffles at 7am and then nothing until 11:40am....

He's frustrated too, by the way.  We've now hired a tutor for him to the tune of $185/month because she is making him crazy.  He's borderline gifted.  No, I'm not going to call him "gifted", my Pediatrician calls him gifted though...  So, there's that.  He should be doing OK in school.  He shouldn't feel like a failure.  You know what?  A kid shouldn't HAVE to be "gifted" to excel in the public school system.  It almost seems that average children have the advantage over the "bright kids" in Mrs Flower's class.  SO damn it, why can't I have an average child.  Geez, he's 6 and he reads at the 2nd grade level.  He is willing to try anything I tell him academically, but it's as though Mrs Flower is taking a kid with no natural anxiety, and filling him with so much anxiety that he can't function anymore.  ARG!

Am I just overreacting?  She's requested another conference (4th this year)...   "Hi Mrs. F... it's Mrs Flower.... (awkward pause)...."

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