Let me explain something.
I am an addict.
I know I am an addict.
There is no denial here.
I want my drug, even though I know it will hurt me. I want it bad. I crave it. I woke up at 4am this morning and laid in bed counting the minutes until it was time to get up so I could get high.
Until you are an addict you cannot really fully appreciate what it is like to be an addict without your drug.
My drug of choice is running. But like a heroin addict who cannot get high off it because it's killing them, I'm now "using" a substitute drug called swimming.
I had a great 4 mile run today, but it wasn't quite enough to "trip" my endorphins.
So I followed my run with a swim. A terrible 45 minute swim. I didn't get high off of my swim (2500ish) today either. I just had a bad swim. I know, it happens.
Chocolate therapy is looking really appealing right now.