Thursday, May 22, 2008

My International Waxing Adventure

And by international waxing adventure, I do not mean I went surfing off of the coast of South Africa.   No, for those of you who are squeamish, this is a frank and mostly true rendition of the waxing of my "hooha".

Yesterday I had the most enjoyable Brazilian waxing experience you could possibly have... which means, it sucked on many, but not all, levels.  I had asked a lot of questions before I arrived today, so I was not surprised by most of the protocol... or, at least until I had to decide (with the help of my new girlfriend, Elizabeth the esthetician) which level of discomfort - oh, I mean Brazilian I wanted.  Did I want a classic, a sensual, or a bare.  Once I had made my choice, we began the fun.  *I'll keep that to myself.  I'm sure the general information I am disclosing here will provide enough information for any of you who are considering your own adventure in wax.

Let me also point out that the salon I chose is a skin care spa.  They do this all the time and I would highly recommend "La Bella Dona" off of Forest Hill.  Even though at some point I cussed at the woman who was ripping the hair from my body with cooled wax, it was a beautiful spa and if you're going to inflict that kind of pain on yourself, you may as well be looking at pretty walls, clean sheets and a nice staff.

I would like to say this was an out of body experience because my mind is that strong and I used hypnotherapy to block everything out, or my pain threshold is that high.  It wasn't.  Oh yes, it hurt like he!! I mean get real, DO you KNOW what having hair ripped from... um, down there feels like?  Its sucks.  In a huge way.   But sadly, I was not out of my body.  Not even close.  I was trapped inside.  My Lamaze breathing technique only did for my waxing what it did for my labor, and I did ask for an epidural.  Again, I was too far along to have one- why does this keep happening to me?  Halfway through the procedure I contemplated just getting up and walking out.  But at that point Elizabeth informed we we were not doing a "ghetto wax" *for those of you waxing virgins, that's when you're only 1/2 done.  We were doing a Brazilian wax and for me to sit tight while she finished.  Holy carp.  It was a long time.

While we're here though, let me dispel some myths.  I don't care what Carrie did on sex in the city, no one gets a Brazilian and then THAT NIGHT decides to go have any kind of "relations" with anyone.  Also there is an unpleasant rumor about "frog position", well, I never experienced that, maybe other places...  *yet another reason to promote the spa I used. 

So, the verdict was that it hurt as much as childbirth and took a full 12 hours to recover fully,
but the results are amazing... which is why I have booked one for next month!

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