a theory about running slow.

I have a theory about running too slow, and while logically it doesn't make sense, it really does when you consider the mental implications of running 20 miles.  Here it is:  

If you run too slow, you might not get the endorphins that trigger a second wind.  

Thus, no second wind means making you run slow for longer.  Making you feel slow.  Not only that, but now you're out in the elements suffering for a longer period of time.  I don't know.  I just kept thinking at some point, "but if we'd been able to maintain any kind of pace today, this run would be over by now".  And seriously, our pace was 'off' on mile 1.  And mile 2.  I knew it, but I thought, "s'ok, we're just having a slow start, any second and we're going to pick it up."  We never did.  In fact, our pace fell off the 11m/mi all the way at one point to a 13+.

So.  Yesterdays run was just about the worst in the history of me.  By mile 12 I was sad.  We stopped for "route support" somewhere in mile 13.  All I'm going to say about that is "THANK GOD FOR A BERMAN".  It was hard to get going after that reprieve, but, we knew what we had to do.  Fo a few minutes there, between 14-15 I started thinking, hey... now, I can do this.  And at mile 15 I definitely thought "only 5 miles, it's only 5 miles.  I run 5 miles all the time".  Well, those turned out to be a LONG 5 miles.  And what's terrible is that our route was one of my favorites, saved for this occasion, so I wasn't able to enjoy it at all.  I wish some bastard had driven by and pissed me off at that point, I could have used the adrenaline.  But alas, there was no traffic for road rage.  Just a bitchy biker.  But the other 200 bikers were SO nice, so the one bitchy biker didn't piss me off enough to give me a boost of energy.

I actually (SERIOUSLY) thought about lying down on the side of the road at mile 19.  I looked at the grass.... hard... and thought, I could stop and lie down.  Do you know what stopped me?  Not pride.  Not self worth of any measure.  Nope... T.  She was right behind me, and if I stopped and passed out in the grass, she would think something was seriously wrong, not that I was a loser who wouldn't run any more, and she certainly would not leave me "asleep" on the side of the road, so she would probably not finish her 20, and a good running buddy would not do anything to stop her friend from finishing.  Of course, all that passed through my head in about a minute, so that was another minute of running "down".  

SO.  Next 20.  In 2 weeks.  It HAS to be better than this one.  MUST.  

Anyone want to spare 30 minutes and run a few miles with us?  We need a relay team of fresh legs for the last 10-12 miles.