Running a race distance for the second time is like having another child of the same gender a few years later. You can't help but compare them to each other, and I don't know about you, but I could spend days admiring how both are amazing in their own unique way. (talking about kids here, not races)
So here I am, a few days out from my race and I have taken a few minutes (try "20 hours/day" for 4 days) to reflect on it. I worried that with a few days to decompress I might start questioning my race strategy. I might wonder if I missed an opportunity. I might regret not running harder at mile 17. I might wish I had used different nutrition strategy...
Nope, still feeling pretty galactically bad a**. So much so that the word has become conversational from the people in my life. I'm waiting for my 4 year old to tell her teacher that her mother is a "galactic bad a(star)(star)".
Here's where I am at though.
I'm not sleeping. At all. Insomnia's not even a bother because frankly I'm not able to go to bed until after midnight, and 4 am is the latest I've managed to stay in bed for the last few days. My husband loves it. Yea ~ maybe love is a strong word.
I'm not eating. Much. I'd love to be all "oh I'm being healthy", but to be honest, I'm being nothing. Today I ate 2 meals and some snacks at a RRRC event. One of the meals was 1/2 an apple and some peanut butter. Is this normal? Does everyone else have a massive reaction of the sympathetic nervous system after a marathon PR?
I feel like... a teenage girl in love.
Do you remember that feeling? The loss of appetite. The restless nights. The aimless wandering of your mind as EVERYTHING in the world reminds you of the object of your love? That's what I feel like, only I am not obsessing about a person. I'm replaying the details of my run. I'm not hungry, because I wasn't hungry. I'm not sleeping, because I'm "using" the adrenaline of the race to get me through the run. I'm not able to focus because everything I see, hear, touch, do reminds me of what I saw, heard, touched or ran.
On top of it all, something HUGE has happened in my life, and I can't wait to share it all with you all, but keeping it bottled inside is not helping the situation! ((Check back here on Friday!))