Friday, January 28, 2011

Freaking the FREAK out

STRESS
-noun.  
  • the physical pressure, pull, or other force exerted on onething by another; strain.
  • physical, mental, or emotional strain or tension
  • a situation, occurrence, or factor causing this




I should tell you all, I'm a fraud.  Yup.  Here I am pretending that I'm OK with the swimming instead of the running and all... but, I. am. so. not.  I'm a FREAK.

National Marathon has gotten in my head.

I'm all twisted up around it.

I was fine until I sprained/strained my fankle.  Chill, fine, whatever, I was cool....  But now, not so much.  The last time I felt this way was before my first Half.  I was shaking in my boots before that race.  Well, technically I was shaking in my boot.  Don't worry though, I was responsible and I cut the soft cast off a few days before the race, and then checked the boot at the start so it would be waiting at the finish... a'hem.

The thing is, I need to mentally recommit to the race, but I can't seem to do that until I resume training, and my goals, yea, they don't even look marginally realistic... yea, you know... I'm pretty much a head case.

Well, huh.  I was starting to worry I'd outgrown some of my neuroses... guess not.  

I think, and I'm not making excuses here, I'm trying to be "aware".... as I was saying, I think it's possible that one person can only handle so many things, and that the true test of their stress capacity is add "one more thing" and "one more thing" until they snap.  Well, who knew a sprained fankle would be my tipping point?  I sure didn't.

On Monday I was all "Oh, it's OK, no worries."

And today, yea, well, I think I owe some apologies for my behavior today...

4 comments:

Chele said...

please let your fankle heal. I'm not a runner but I was walking 2 miles or so a day. Now I haven't walked past the end of the street for 7 months & there is no end in site. I'm afraid of what will happen if you screw it up that bad...

Alex said...

=(. Let yourself heal and don't worry about it so much. Easier said then done!

Last year I hurt my calf in Feb. I ran a crappy half marathon in March (did great til mile 10). Followed by a crappy half ironman in May before taking 6 full weeks off of running (I was able to do the elliptcal).

Point of the story is if I would have rested it in Feb I wouldn't have posted crappy times earlier in the season. At the time I never thought the calf would take so long to heal.

Keep up the awesome swimming! Maybe it's just me but does swimming make you extra hungry?

Julie D. said...

you don't owe an apology to anyone. It sucks. Period. Hang in there.

Zoë said...

Injuries just plain suck. You have every right to freak out. :(
Heal heal heal quickly!!