Freaking the FREAK out

STRESS
-noun.  

• the physical pressure, pull, or other force exerted on onething by another; strain.
• physical, mental, or emotional strain or tension
• a situation, occurrence, or factor causing this

I should tell you all, I'm a fraud.  Yup.  Here I am pretending that I'm OK with the swimming instead of the running and all... but, I. am. so. not.  I'm a FREAK.

National Marathon has gotten in my head.

I'm all twisted up around it.

I was fine until I sprained/strained my fankle.  Chill, fine, whatever, I was cool....  But now, not so much.  The last time I felt this way was before my first Half.  I was shaking in my boots before that race.  Well, technically I was shaking in my boot.  Don't worry though, I was responsible and I cut the soft cast off a few days before the race, and then checked the boot at the start so it would be waiting at the finish... a'hem.

The thing is, I need to mentally recommit to the race, but I can't seem to do that until I resume training, and my goals, yea, they don't even look marginally realistic... yea, you know... I'm pretty much a head case.

Well, huh.  I was starting to worry I'd outgrown some of my neuroses... guess not.  

I think, and I'm not making excuses here, I'm trying to be "aware".... as I was saying, I think it's possible that one person can only handle so many things, and that the true test of their stress capacity is add "one more thing" and "one more thing" until they snap.  Well, who knew a sprained fankle would be my tipping point?  I sure didn't.

On Monday I was all "Oh, it's OK, no worries."

And today, yea, well, I think I owe some apologies for my behavior today...