It could happen to any one of us...

Oh yes.  We've all had those moments where our children embarrass us.  Sure, there's nothing quite like a temper tantrum, in a grocery store, in front of... your priest... or in front of Alpha Mom...  But, my uber-embarrassing moment wasn't that benign.  No.  I'm sitting here right now wishing for a temper tantrum actually.  In Ukrops.  Because what happened was the most embarrasing moment of my entire life... to the power of 8... multiplied by 230952...  So- let this be a warning to you ALL!!!

First off, let me set the mood...  I went bowling with friends to celebrate with C, G and B, in sort of a "we survived the second week of school" way.  H has been working 4 week nights every week and it's exhausting for me and the kids, so even though I begged him to call in sick, that stupid "work ethic" thing over ruled and he went to work after we left for Bowl America.  My neighbor Earth Mom (EM) came, and we also invited SDD and A (his 6 year old daughter whom G loves & C thinks is great, and honestly, she is so cute she makes me giggle).  So, it's family fun.  

At some point, I looked around at all the rednecks, cigarettes hanging between sticky painted lips, and thought, "Oh wow.  This is blog worthy."  And, I might have said as much to EM and SDD.  I thought, "title of the blog post... something redneck... you might be a red neck..." I was definitely working it all out in my mind.  In the meantime...

We're bowling.  We ordered pizza.  Things are going great... and then, b starts to melt down.  Now, for those of you who don't know, b is only about 22 months old, so by 6:30 pm, she should be melting down.  At this point, the bowling alley is pretty busy.  I am entertaining her, while EM bowls.  And it's almost my turn.... and suddenly, holy snap, B pulls on my top.  No big deal right?  It's not like a baby has ever exposed her moms bra before... but, crap, she got ahold of bra... and completely exposed my ~nip~  to Bowl America.  My life flashed before my eyes.  I'm not ready to be a mom... I'm not mature enough for this...  my nip was exposed for probably 1/2 a second.  OK, so that doesn't sound like a long time- IT IS AN ETERNITY.  I could die.  I am dying.  I....  "Well, that's blog worthy" says SDD who was reaching for b at the moment that the entire thing happened, and now we're both laughing so hard neither of us can breathe.  Or, at least I think he's laughing.  I know I'm ready to climb under a table... chair... rock... bowling ball... SOMETHING because at that moment I have perma grin, my eyes are tearing up... I can't see.....

It's just a Mom moment.  It could happen to any of us, any where, at any time.  Still, I'm on alert now, b's not going to get a chance to do that twice.  I think I'm going to need to get some turtlenecks!