Thursday, September 30, 2010

To What END?

So it looks like the Tour De France winner  was "allegedly" doping.  Of course of course, he's the victim of bad meat... just like that ball player blamed his Dr and the olympic gymnast blamed the cold medicine. And what I keep coming back to is, To what End?

Why do you cheat to win something like the Tour De France?  Money?  Is it really about the money?  What satisfaction do you get out of not really winning it on your own?  I think it would be empty.  I think on some level you would always rot a little inside knowing you shouldn't have won, but of course, if you lie about it you get a sponsorship and if you come clean, you probably lose the sponsorship and have to pay some big fines and junk.  So, I guess I get it.  It's GREED.  At the international level (be it olympic or biking or whatnot), if you dope to win, you might still walk away with $ or a sponsorship.

So a while ago I read a blog about someone who saw a woman not finish the out and back on a 5K.  Where is the satisfaction from winning a 5K, if you didn't really WIN IT?  I mean, there's no real money in winning a local charity 5K race.  That's just silly.  At a local level race you're really competing for bragging rights, aren't you?  And where is the fun of "winning bragging rights", if you didn't really win them?

I think back to my first 5K, and how SLOW it was, and you know what?  I was SO STINKING PROUD of that finish!  I was HIGH on it.  I earned it.  I owned it.  I knew in that moment that I would never win one of those races, and hell, I would never even "beat" my friends, but damn-it, I was still so proud of my accomplishment.

It makes me sad to read about these "false" players in the world of sports who don't appreciate their own sense of self.  It does.  Because if they were proud of themselves, they would never allow themselves to be "tainted" by bad meat, or accidental doping, or even, cut a 5K short on the path to a better PR.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

There is a very fine line between hobby and mental illness. Many a runner has crossed it.  ~Dean Karnazes

Monday, September 27, 2010

MTT 20 miler: Check

Sunday was my MTT SNOT GREEN 20 miler.

I'm pretty pleased... no, scrap that, I'm very optimistic... I'm disappointed that...  Hmmm.

I think it's safe to say I'm not sure how I feel about it yet.

1)  Pace was TOO fast, but I willfully and knowingly held it even when I was telling myself it would be a good idea to slow down.

2)  Route was bloody hilly.  I mean, like, hillier than I like it, and we all know that I like hilly routes.

3)  I took a ice bath, and enjoyed it so much that I spent the day icing my achilles tendon.  Which doesn't make me happy, but it doesn't make me panic.

4)  If I ran the first 20 of the marathon at Sunday's Pace, and then even ran an 11 minute pace for the last 6.2 of the marathon, I'd have something like a 29 minute PR.  So.  Basically, I ran the 20 at slightly slower than PERFECT DAY MRP, but a bit (quite a bit actually) faster than my SLOW GOAL MRP.

5)  I did not have enough body glide, but otherwise my outfit was PERFECT - RunningSkirts Green Plaid, Lime Green Shirt, and the "back up socks".  I didn't wear the race socks.  I'll wear race socks next 20 miler.
(Ok, those sweat marks are really poorly placed, I will try to sweat better next time...)

This week I finished 51 miles AND I rounded the corner and passed 900 miles for the year.

And I think it's safe to say, next week will be a recovery week over here at Chez Moi.

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Where Have I BEEN?

Well, I'll tell you where I haven't been.

I haven't been sitting on my couch.

This week for school I had 1 paper, 1 test and 64 (yes, that's a SIX in front of the FOUR) pages of reading.  So, I was at my computer.

G had a birthday, which entails a "Family Birthday Party" and a "Kid Birthday Party".
So, I was cleaning the house or at the store buying party supplies and Cupcakes from Two Sweet Cupcakes.

I have run 30 miles so far this week, with another 20 miler ahead of me tomorrow.
So, I was running.

I had 3 pieces of paper to collect for my Nursing School application that were due by Oct 1.
So, I was running ~only this running was done in the Beige Minivan.

Today, after running, I expected to be home all day catching up on laundry & chilling out before my 20 miler tomorrow, but G (age 8) started throwing up in a VERY alarming way at 9am this morning.
So, I spent a few hours at the ER.

Over all, it's been one of those weeks where I'm too busy to blog.  I swear, I will be better next week.  In fact, I bet tomorrow's 20 will be enough entertainment for it's very own blog post.

(Very icky details below, those who are sensitive to bodily fluid details should just skip reading it.)
G is fine, by the way, or at least, he's going to be fine.  He has a nasty GI bug that threw us for a loop.  We don't know exactly what caused the complications, but here's the thing:  If your kid throws up brownish blood, it's not considered a big deal by the Ped.  If your kid throws up bright RED blood, like G did this morning, it's a "throw clothing on yourself & your kid, and get in the car ASAP because you needed to be at the ER already" reaction from the Pediatrician.  And thus, the reason I have wet uncombed hair tied in a bun, and a "Virginia is for Lovers" T-shirt on today.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010


Go check out THIS BLOG for a SWEET Brooks giveaway!

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Tentative Race Calendar

What do you all think?

National Marathon - March 26, 2011

Dismal Swamp Stomp Half Marathon - April 16, 2011

Carytown 10K - May 15, 2011?  Date not yet announced

Autism 5K - late May.

Crossroads 17.75K (Prince William VA) early June.

San Francisco Half Marathon - July 2011 (of course, my Aunt hasn't really said we can stay there, but I think we should just assume that we can).

And the fall race schedule...  I think for sure the Capitol 10 miler and a 10K, and maybe the RIC Half or the OBX Half, and maybe, just maybe, another marathon.

Monday, September 20, 2010

Happy Birthday G

Today my son turns 8.  ~gasp~

Where did the time go?

I'm sure some of it has been spent at guitar lessons, hockey practice, swim team, preschool, grade school, and other activities.

I'm positive some of it has been spent cleaning up bloody noses, scraped knees, ER visits, middle of the night croup, and at the ENT (who's children will be attending an Ivy League school with no debt, thanks to my repeated contributions to their college funds).

I'm certain that some of it has been spent eating... boys. eat. a lot.

Most of all, I'm absolute on the fact that the time has been well spent raising him into the sweet 8 year old that he is...  G, you're coming into your own.  Sit back, relax, and enjoy the 3rd grade!

Speaking of Hockey, it's a tradition for me to make some outrageous cake for G's birthday.  There have been a Tomas The Tank Engine 3D train w/ 3 cars and a caboose, a Blues Clues "Blue", a DEATH Star & Tie Fighter Cupcakes, and now, a Boston Bruins Hockey Puck....

not going to lie.  Boston Bruins Hockey Puck is the EASIEST ONE that's ever been requested...

Friday, September 17, 2010


Last night we went in and met all the teachers, saw the classrooms, and got a feel for the school.

I learned a lot, and I'm very excited about the fact that my kid's 5th grade math and science books are online any time I need them.  Her spelling words are on a national spelling site, and there's a geography study tool for her too.  Mr. Cost, her teacher, has a really great attitude about learning and independence.

The third grade classroom was awesome, and we all got a laugh over the fact that there's now a 5th ocean.  No really, did you know?  Yup, a 5th one - The Southern Ocean.  I'm old, apparently.

But the most important thing I learned in the 3rd grade class is...

G's teacher, Ms. Candy, is a runner.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

slumpty dumpty sat on a couch

OK, so I've been getting up early (and I mean early) and running some serious miles all summer.  For the most part, it went really well and I was a highly functioning individual most days of the week.

But now that school has started, I'm exhausted.  By 1:30.  Every day.  And I mean EXHAUSTED.  Yesterday I just sat down on the couch, and woke up an hour later!  So not like me.

Today, the same thing would have happened but I was at a friend's house and she pushed a Diet Coke into my hand and said, "you need this more than I do."

So I want... no, I need to know:  How do you all beat the "got up at 5am to run" mid-afternoon slump?

Or, if you don't get up at 5am but still run into this... how do you beat the "post lunch" slump?

*I'm not pregnant.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

bored versus boring

The longer I'm a stay at home mom the LESS conservative I am becoming.  Dunno what that's all about, but I definitely am more liberal today than I was in 2000 when I gave birth to my kiddo.

Is it the fact that I spent 10 years thinking about who I am, where as, ten years ago I just sort of thought I believed what someone, probably on TV, told me I believed?  Is it that I'm a runner, which has made me self aware down to every breath I take for a few hours or more of each week?  Really, I've changed in many ways.  Physically, emotionally, heck- even what I wear has changed!

I used to only wear jeans or pants and wouldn't be caught dead in a skirt unless it came down to my ankles.  I have photos of me sitting on a porch in JULY in CHESAPEAKE VA (read that in 'effing HOT weather) in jeans.  The people I worked with used to go on these "mini makeover rampages" where they'd stuff me into a dress and drag me off to the church dinner with friends.  Usually in a misguided attempt to introduce me to "someone".  I don't often relate to teenybopper books, but I can tell you that Stephanie Meyers really nailed Bella on the head.  Still, my Bella-esque cringing aside, I now wear a short skirt about 80% of the time, and I am working hard to figure out how to wear one 95% of the time, but there are just times when a running skirt is hard to pull off.  Like parent teacher conferences.  Unless your kid's teacher is a runner... man wouldn't that be SWEET? ...  oh, but we're getting off topic here.

BUT HERE is the REAL thing that is making me WEIRD MYSELF OUT:

I've been thinking about getting some ink.  Yea.  Um.  I've lived my whole life as an anti-tat individual.  I swore I would never never get a tat.  I mean, you go right ahead with that sh*t, but I'm not into it on me.  And yet, for some reason it has been floating around in my head recently.  The only thing is, I haven't dreamed one up that is as unique as I am and says what I want it to say... which is "Bad A** Mother" and "Spiritually Enlightened Runner" all at the same time...

Mom, ever insightful, says, "I think without running you would be bored."  And my first thought was, "or boring".  And maybe that's all this is... an attempt at not being BORED.  or BORING.

So, I will wait 365 days, and if I am still thinking about ink, then, I'll do it then.

Monday, September 13, 2010


Hey ya'll,

Don't tell anyone, but I'm thinking of breaking up with my Muffin Top.  Yea, we broke up last year for a few months, and I swore I would never let MT back in... but then I got injured, and it's really hard to keep MT away when you're sitting on your a** feeling sorry for yourself eating cupcakes and holiday cookies 5 hours a day.  Of course, now that MT is back, I have to think that MT doesn't add anything except drama to my life.

Are these pants going to fit?

Even if they do fit, is MT going to be the main feature?

Am I going to feel bad about my body if I put them on this morning?

Can I afford to feel bad about myself at 6:15am?

Yea, I'm sure you can see why I would want to let MT go.  ~sigh~.  But in the meant time, keep this on the down low, because frankly, I think that MT's feelings are going to get hurt, and you know what happens when you have hurt feelings?  Cupcakes.  That's what.


Sunday, September 12, 2010

don't be jealous

BUT you should totally be jealous.

Today I ran 18 miles, crossed the 800 mile mark for the year, and (AND!) busted out a new weekly record for me of 48 miles on the week.  This is not the reason you should be jealous.

After my awesome 18 miler, that I really tried to kill, I drove everyone back to their cars or homes, came in my house, and promptly made myself a cup of coffee and an ice bath.  I've frozen a bunch of cranberry juice bottles into giant ice cubes.  It worked for the most part.  It was cold.  I was shivering by the end, but I was happy to sit in it for the whole 15 minutes.

You want to know why you should be jealous?

Well, B dumped a cup full of Dinosaurs in the tub with me so I would have some toys.  She said, "I like toys in my bath, you can play with my toys mom."

Thanks B.  You're one in a million.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

My World

I believe that I am a good person.  I don't lie.  I don't like to gossip.  I pay my taxes.  I serve on the PTA.  I'm supportive to my peeps, and I encourage all people to run.

Regardless of gender, race, speed, age or fitness.

I will invite almost anyone on a run...

even if I think they're too slow - I'll slow down.
even if they don't run as far as I run - I'll make two shorter loops.
even if I think they will never accept the invitation - I make sure that it's out there, just incase, because tomorrow is a new day.
and I will run with people if they ask me, especially if they say they're struggling, regardless of gender, race, speed, age or fitness.

I am faithful to my husband, my God, my training partner, my best friend, my true friends, my favorite dog, and my children- not necessarily in that order, because there is no order...  I just AM.

And, believe it or not, I am proud of that integrity.  It's the ONE thing I have that I believe no one can take away from me except me.  And WHY would I give that away?  I wouldn't.

Yesterday, I found out, I am Elizabeth Proctor.

Today.  I am still Elizabeth Proctor.

I'm usually a very forgiving person who can accept the mistakes of almost anyone, and it's absolutely true that can make a joke about almost anything and move on.


Thursday, September 9, 2010

3 Things Thursday

1.  The kids LOVE school, they LOVE their teachers, and they LOVE their classmates.  I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop.  Here they are on their first day of school waiting for the bus.
G insisted that his hair be spiked, and he wants to get it cut into a mo-hawk.  I'm thinking about it.  

2.  My running is going REALLY well this week.  Like REALLY well.  I am thrilled with today's "pace run", even though I struggled a bit on one of the miles, it was completely up hill...  and I am starting to BELIEVE that my UBER marathon goal is totally DO-ABLE.  This weekend I have a SLOW 18 miles.  It will be slow (in my run-slow-to-run-fast ZONE), because my hamstring is making noise after the fast run days, and after today HamString deserves a few slow runs.

3.  Speaking of running, the hours are getting earlier and earlier.  This morning I was done with my run by 6:30am, and putting my kids on the bus when another running group I know ran by!  And, for a breath of air, I was really tempted to go run them "in", I mean, I was wearing my runningskirt and shoes...  but I didn't because I really did need to go inside and get my day going!  So, to the runners who came past my bus stop at 7:30 - GOOD FOR YOU!  You all looked awesome, and strong, and I'm proud to have been invited to join your group today, I just can't run that late!!!

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

un-quotable quotes

In school this semester I'm taking 2 online courses and 1 in class course...  The online courses are BIOLOGY 101 and WORLD RELIGION.  With BIO you still have to report about 6 times over the course of the semester and do labs.

Well this Friday I have a lab, and I have to pick a lab partner.  It's going to be tough, but I thought I might have some good ideas for who I'll mesh well with after reading some of the posts.  It's like a blind date, only it's a "blind lab partnering".

Here are a few of the high points from the discussion board so far:

Nature don't need mans help doing what it does naturally.   (student #1)

Grief Child! You are not a raving lunatic! (Student #2)

It's my goal to run a marathon by next year. I did the pink power tri on sunday. It was my first tri ever and it was awesome. I've been a runner my whole life, I've just never made it to the whole marathon. I'm running a relay race in sept. from western MD to DC. I would love to talk to you about training advice for a marathon. I over did it for the tri and hurt my knee but powered on anyway. (Student #3) hold on there... I think I've found my new lab partner.  

Of course, now I need to meet her on Friday before she picks another partner, hope she likes me, and not come on "too strong".  Seriously thinking about walking around the class looking for a student with a road ID.

Monday, September 6, 2010

Official News

Officially, on the eve of my children starting 3rd and 5th grade, I submitted my application to Nursing School.  

It's in.

I paid an application fee and everything.

There is a disclaimer saying "you can't change anything once you hit this button" and I screwed my courage to the sticking post and clicked.

(deep breath)  I'm freaking out.

(another breath)  I'm definitely freaking the freak out.

What if I don't get in?  What if I have spent the last 2 years doing this core work for NOTHING?  Oh my word, I can't breathe.

Now I am not going to do anything drastic, but at this moment in my life I understand people who freak the FREAK out and have to get checked into mental institutions while waiting for acceptance letters.  And here's the bad news for the people who will have to be around me while I wait...

The "letters" go in the mail the week before ThanksGiving.


Block Party

Dear Block of Running Insecurity,

This is your pink slip.  You are being laid off in the on going downsizing of Neuroses of this SAHM.

I know that you have been the anchor on the wall of doubt holding me back for a long time now, and that you're really good at it... but go find a new job.  Starting now.

Today, while you were sleeping on the job, I snuck past you for a run.  Against my better judgement, I turned Triple L (3L) loose with Melis and DeNiece and said, "pick the pace, I need to see what I can do".  Well guess what Mental Block...  I.  Don't.  Need.  You.

Oh, you want the proof?  How about this...  The course was a typical g. course, meaning there were a few (many) small (Fox Hall anyone?) hills (a half mile climb isn't even worth mentioning, right?).  So we started out on those hills and I had to get my legs warmed up, and then, we just went.  I ran my fastest Half Marathon ever.  Too bad it wasn't a race.  Oh, and did I mention that we were talking the whole way?  You need more reasons I don't need you?  How 14 reasons...

1. 9:46
2. 9:54
3. 9:51
4. 9:53
5. 9:19
6. 9:08
7. 9:11
8. 9:14
9. 9:15
10. 9:23
11. 9:51
12. 10:06
13. 8:53
((13.1 2:04:34))
14. 10:16

about that 9:33 average pace...   MGP is a bit slower than that...  and at the end of todays run, I could have kept running.  I don't know how much longer, but I felt amazing.  Probably because I wasn't carrying an extra block around with me.

Some suggestions for a good job for you would be mounting block at a riding academy.  A block behind a tire to stop a redneck's motor home from rolling away.  Oh, how about the chopping block that goes under the firewood?  The market is teaming with opportunity for a big strong mental block like you.

I regret to inform you that I cannot give you a reference.  I have writer's block.


Sunday, September 5, 2010

Drawing Conclusions

Drawing I is hilarious.  First off, I am half in love with all the students in my class.  Even ARG, though she's not as fun as the rest of them.

So here's the thing.  You know how I KICK A** at ALL the classes I take?  Well... I SUCK at Drawing!  It's kind of liberating.  This week we did a Still Life in Negative Space...  Mine is, um... yea, anyhoo, it would appear that the Art gene has passed me over!  But, that's just the fun of it.  I'm not trying to be an artist, I'm trying to get an A in Art.

Still Life in Negative Space 
as seen by a Crack Addict with a Head Tilt

Friday, September 3, 2010

Marathon Race Pace

aka - MRP.

Last year when I was "training" for my marathon, I took a very lazy attitude on preparing for "pace".  I trained at the pace I felt like running at, as many miles as I could squeeze in each week.  I thought I was doing well.  Yea, about that.  I somehow doubt that the 28 - 33 miles I was running each week was quite enough.  You know when I noticed it?  On my long runs every weekend.  I didn't know what I was noticing though.  I did 90% of my miles at a 10ish minute or so pace, and the other 10% were at an 11... or 1130... pace because I was falling apart at mile 17.  I thought since I was training at a 10 minute pace that I would just race a ten minute pace for my marathon.

This year I'm training 90% of my miles at a 10:30ish (well, I tend to average a lot of miles at a 10:26)... and the other 10% at MRP.

But.  What is my MRP?  I can't seem to figure it out.  On some days, I look at my "dream goal"and think, I am smoking crack if I think I can hold that for 26.2 miles.  On other days, I look at the dream goal and think, sure, why the heck not?  I can do that.   

Today though, I really questioned what it is that holds me back from embracing my crazy goal and believing it's possible.  I'm pretty fit.  Who am I kidding?  I'm probably in some of the better shape I've been in in my life.  Which pace should I train at for my MRP?  My crazy dream goal pace, or the pace I KNOW I can hold?

And here's what I've got to come to:  Either I need to move the mental block aside and use it as a stepping stone, or I need to reconsider my dream goal.  Being on the short side of scale, and being a former horseback rider, I'm used to stepping on a block to get on a horse.... to borrow a phrase from a coach I know - it's time to "cowboy up".

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

School Eve

Summer Vacation is too long.  I mean, I love my children, I do but...  I understand from other people that a BLOG is NOT an appropriate place to sell them to a good home.  Tempted to list them as free, but frankly after all this "summer fun" we're beyond broke and I could use the cash.

I'd love to ponder the weight of the world today, and the tropical systems that are threatening my running plans (OH and my sis, & peeps down on OBX etc and so forth) and all that, but today is sort of like the last week before Christmas.

I need to make sure I've got everything "wrapped" for the big holiday on Tuesday.  I have a list and haven't even checked it ONCE, and I have a baaaaaaaad feeling I'm going to end up at a giant box store specializing in Retail Discounts.

I need to call my pediatrician so I can get a letter for my son's file saying he has hearing loss and if he's ignoring his teacher, he probably just can't hear her.

And remember the other day when I ran 18 miles and did the laundry?  Well I was so tired that what I have now is piles and piles of clean (some of it folded) laundry in the hall waiting to be put away... what's that?  Yes, My kids ARE old enough to help, but THAT is another post for another day....

Happy Wednesday.